Lonely and broken marriage

I have been writing before and asking for advices cause of my unperfect marriage. there was problems in the way many times but we survived ...Now I am not sure we can. Last summer I found out that while I was in my home country he was unfaithfull and even when i was near he continued... He slept with few grils and met many and i wanted out of the marriage. He said then that he doesnt love me that is why he did it. When I wanted to start with divorce procedure he stopped me saying he does love me ,he wasnt aware just of his love, and he promissed that he would never cheat again .I accepted cause i still had love for him and because of our 4 y old child.
11 months after his promise he does it again but so far it is only emotional cheating by chatting and writing to girls on internet. He is using even a photo in his profile and wrote that he is unmarried and wants to meet the woman of his life.
It hurs so much. I love him but not as strong as before cause he is hurting me and constanly breaking promisses.
This time he wanted me to know about his letters cause he left one for me so i could notice and found out my self as he said, cause he coulnt find the words to tell me him self. I was terible.
I have started to visit my lawer and getting ready for divorce but he says he doenst want a divorce at least not right now. He doesnt want to stop with his phone call, emails and sms with other girls. maybe he is also meeting them ,that I dont know yet. We dont have any fysical contact from the day I found the letter ( about 1 month agao) He says again that he doesnt love me ,but when i say divorce he doesnt want to give me . He is fair about letting me stay in the house and keep the child to live with me,hekps with money too.E
He also came with a suggestion to try to rent a room somewhere in town and try to live with out us for a month so he could realize how it would be without me and the child.
Does he deserves a chance like that to let him move out for a short time or I am letting him hurt me just more?
Iam just so afraid of losing him,but on the other hand I dont want to stay like this, having him but sharing him with others, I feel he doesnt respect me enough or love me.
I am in a lonely and broken marriage.
He doesnt want to take a teray for his internet addiction.
Anyone else in a similiar situation?
I am sorry that the text is very long.

Have courage

darls why on earth are you so afraid of losing him??? he is not worth having....dont let him keep ripping you apart like this -he is not worth any of it!! at the moment its all on his terms-he wont give up his cheating -he wont agree to divorce - he wants a months trial....its all about him!!! take back your personal control and tell him you will no longer be treated this way - he lies , he cheats ,he treats you with utter disrespect and says that he does not love you - let him go take his worthless promises somewhere else-you can do so much better xx

Thanks glynda

Thak you for writing to me.
I know that he is not worth much,it is mostly because of the child i hang around. I dont think that there wil be us "the happy coulpe" anymore.
Is it normal that when facing divorce you feel scared and wondering if you can do it on your own?
Wondering that maybe you ll never be in love of find someone again.I fear about how my child is going to go trough the divorce too.

Ida.

Hi ida

its so normal to be scared-and have doubts and to want to be able to make everything ok....but we cant change other people and all we can do is live our lives th best we can-staying for the child i do understand but what sort of example is your life now for your child to follow??be brave and you will see that life can be so good-im not saying there are not difficulties but its ok being on your own-really ok!!life is too good to waste and you can do it-i wish you every strength you need xx

Thank you again glynda

Thanks for your letter.it help when someone give you verbal support, I appreciate it.
Today we talked the thing over and I am pretty sure that he was getting ready to go ut with some girl instead going to work ( who works sunday just 4 hours anyway) He got so nicely dressed and shaved,took his navigation system with him and he was realy nervos. So i gave him green light to do whatever he wants cause we decided that we cant stay together. i cant forgive him and he can not love me ,so it was pretty clear.At least he can not make me fool beliveing him that he is trying to make it work while meeting girls ....
I wish i ll have the strength I need.
Thanks again for writing
Take care
Ida,

Good luck

i hope its all going well....we all have strength we dont know about until we need it- go for it and i wish you well xx

Thank you very much glynda

Thank you for attention.
My situation is not good. Few days ago I found a bill for a flowers delivery strore and I realized that he orderde 24 roses and a box of chokolade to some girl .I tink he left it on purpose so I would see it and now that he is with some one.But on the other side he said that he didnt leave it on purpose and they had only one date and only kissed. For me a kiss is also act of cheating. I am very dissapointed at him and down ,but also i am glad I sew this so I can clear my new path of life and have a fresh start.
We will divorce,that is very sure.
How have you been Glynda?
Thanks again for your words of support and take care
Hug
Ida.

Hi ida

wow he is extravagant on a first date huh? darls dont keep tearing your heart out over him-take that new path and run down it!!! and thanks im very good!! a little sleep deprived from being out having fun and laughing but thats not a bad thing!! very best of luck ida xx

No more chances

dear ida2006, you sound like a a very lonely young lady who could do with being whisked off her feet and loved dearly by a man that truly deserves you. im not in your situation,but i can tell from reading your story that you are confused and being totally disrespected by your husband.He seems to be completely without morals with regards toyour marriage vows and im sorry my love but this man will never change.
Divource though horrid is probably the best thing for you and yourchild as you need happiness in your life.
I hope you find courage to do whats right for you not him.
thinking of you
jx

Thank you janice

Thank you janice for your reply. it always help to hear other opinion. I think you are right, I ll be better with out him. he can not have both me and chatt and meet othersm i can not let that be true
Hope that sunhine comes after the rain.
God bless
Idal

Hello ida

I have been trying for the past two weeks to respond to your mail but this ... system won't let me, if you contact me through soopabeib@yahoo.com I'll send my reply to you. It's a bit personal and I don't want to post it here....meanwhile, I hope under the circumstanes you're doing ok....Take care.
Cheers