Advise in relationship please.

Hello. I have been with my gf now for 11 month's and there is something wrong in the relationship and my judgement is clouded by my feelings for her so I need someone to tell me what it may be please. Well, where to start? Firstly I want to make clear that I love her dearly and she does me also that is why I'm going crazy as it's not her fault because she can't help it. She is only 16 (me 17) and has a few issues with herself (paranoia, jealousy, unable to trust etc) and on top of that she is very domineering. She has had bad experiences with any boy who got close to her and they really have destroyed her, one experience was scarring but I'm not going to go into detail here. That's why I have so much patience with her as she hates herself and wishes she was different. She can't help how she is but it's destroying our relationship. For example, over the months she has wanted me to stop talking to certain people (my girl 'friends') as she feels intimidated by them however; she then realised it wasnt right and stopped. But she constantly thinks I'm cheating and will leave her for another girl so she needs constant reassurance which I'm happy to give but she never believes me which leads to arguments when she calls me a liar when it's just in her head. A few months ago she left me because a girl messaged me on 'MySpace' (which I forgot I had an account before I met her) and told me she liked the look of me etc... And if I'd like to meet up. I rejected the offer describing I have someone who I care for and never hurt. She usually checks my phone, e-mails and such because of her jealousy and came across the e-mail and finished me because I replied even though I thought she'd be happy at what I said. The girl was very suggestive and she said obviously I was cheating on her because nobody's that friendly when they don't now you. I tried to explain that I wasn't and even deleted the account so it wouldn't happen again but she walked. Just two days later she begged me back and at first I was hesitant as she hurt me but I forgave her. I expected her to change but it's got worse, she wants me to stop going out with my friends and gets so mad if I can't meet her if I got work etc... She can be very bossy and sometimes doesn't treat me with respect and when I talk to her about it, it causes arguments. However; when we have good days and she is happy everythings amazing and we are great together despite everything she is all I want. Just recently we separated after a row (stupid) which escalated over her not wanting me to go to a party with my friend's even though I proved I can be trusted on more than one occasion. One of my friends (who we both were attracted to each other before my gf met me) but never acted because we were such good friends and didn't know if we felt same; tried to kiss me at a party but I avoided and went home back to my girl. I fell for her so the attraction I had to my friend completely vanished but she still doesn't like me having her as a friend and can be very possessive even though my friend has a bf (one of my mates) now and is happy herself. Anyway we split but I wanted to meet to say goodbye properly and leave things right, she told me she wanted one last kiss and to hold hands until we separated and I did. But while holding her in my arms my thumping heart told me I still wanted more and I knew I still loved her but I thought she wanted to be just friends as we were still special together. We were hugging sat down and our hands were tightly embraced, and our faces were touching from the side. Then she looked at me and as I turned our lips were locked together and we shared the most amazing and passionate kiss we ever had. It lasted between 7-10 minutes and we went from hugging to caressing to lying on top of each other and I wanted her so much! She said the feeling was neutral and told me she couldn't ignore the sparks we still obviously had and we agreed to try gain. So what was to be our last kiss saved us. Two days ago she was shouting at me because I couldn't meet her at the time she wanted and broke up with me after another row leaving me heartbroken. She has begged again and I have taken her back as she has given me second chances when I have walked because of a stupid row and made a mistake. We have never cheated. But she isn't willing to try with her issues saying it's all mental and she can't help it even though I have sacrificed parties and things for her she can't try for me. Is there chance she will ever be happy because she wants to be but she needs to lose her demons and I have told her this and supported her? Thanks!

Been through it!

I had to reply to your post because the girl your describing sounds abit like me! My ex forced me into having sex with him constantly and cheated and basically knocked all my confidence out of me, I lost all of my friends. I was a wreck, never felt so low and unworthy in my life. When I met my current boyfriend I was a nightmare. Like your girlfriend I was so insecure, always wondering what he was doing, who he was with, and just couldn't trust him, even though in my head and heart I knew I could. We went through some tough times but he always stood by me. I threw tantrums and pointed accusations and one day I couldn't do it to him anymore. I understood I was doing this because that's how my ex treated me so I thought it was normal. I broke down and he was the first person I told about everything my ex had put me through. He knew some of it but that day we talked for hours and he held me and reassured me that he loved me and would never hurt me. I really felt the start of our relationship was then. When he went to work he'd call to ask how I was etc. Whenever he saw me he immediately kissed me no matter who was watching and small things like this mounted up to me trusting him. We now have lived together for over a year and yes, I still have my moments but I know that my bf is nothing like my ex and I couldn't go through the rest of my life pushing people away. We are really happy and have a great relationship.
Your gf will never truly get over what happened to her, and you're doing the best you can by supporting her and standing by her. Give her plenty of reassurance but she really needs to realise herself that she can trust you. Only she can get over her demons, and with your support she will. If not suggest counselling as this may be too much to handle at the age of 16.
Hope it works out for you!
Laura x

Thank you!

Thanks for the words. I know I stand by her and don't have any intention of leaving because of her but, it just really does cause problems with us, and as for getting help she refuses. Her mum has tried getting her to see a counsellor but it's not happening. Anyone else?