Bad and good news
The bad news: You can't choose how to feel, because you can't control your feelings.
The good news: You CAN choose how to act. You are not rendered completely unable to do things your own way, just because you feel something.
If you love your colleague that just the way it is. There's nothing to do about it, so you might as well accept your feelings.
But it is absolutely and definitely wrong of you to meet up with him behind your boyfriend's back. You might not have cheated on him, but it seems to me that the only thing stopping you is your colleague's faithfulness towards his spouse.
That said, faithfulness forced upon someone is worth absolutely nothing. Your boyfriend does not deserve to be treated this way, living with a woman that loves someone else and is very close to cheating on him.
That said YOU also deserve better. Why be with a guy you don't love? Don't you deserve to be with the man that you truly want?
Don't settle for a man you have no deep feelings for just because it's safe. You only live once sweetie, don't waste your time because you are scared.
No matter what happens between you and your co-worker I think you should break if off with your boyfriend. When you are able to fall in love with someone else, it's a huge wake-up call saying that you are not attached to him anymore. He deserves to be with a woman that wants HIM and not someone else, so do what is right before this whole situation gets messy.
There is also a plus side to it. If you leave your boyfriend, your lover will see that you are serious about the two of you. You also show him that you are trustworthy, because it is easy to think that if you could cheat on your boyfriend with him, you could later on cheat on HIM with someone else. Perhaps it's what he needs as a last confirmation on you dedication and will make him leave your spouse to be with you.
I'm not trying to judge you, because as I wrote no one decides how they feel or for whom. But you still have the means to act properly, so I think you should that - everybody involved deserves it in the end.  )
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