Need more help now...

In the last week i put a dicussion on here called "may sounds stupid" and it was about my boyfriend not making any effort...we sorted that out but it soon became a problem to me again and we argued over a few things and ended the convasation. Later on he decides he wants to go on a break!! saying that he needs to sort himself out, i asked him if he wanted to break up and he said no, he just knows hes hurting me and wants to sort his head out.

Im in absolute pieces, i just want us to sort it rather than push eachother further away...in all my relationships i have never had to go through this 'break idea'...i dont know what i should do?? hes everything to me and i carnt bare just not talking to him, but my friends have said just leave him to it, im scared if i do that then he may never want me again, i know i carnt make him want me but i just hate this feeling of not knowing wether he will want me again, im scared he might just never talk to me again...please help me with what to do now..x

Stay calm

First of all you need to get one thing straight with him - tell him that you will give him his space, but that your loyalty towards each other is unchanged, so this is not an opportunity for him to go out with other women.

That said I think a break is good for the both of you. Instead of panicking you should think about the relationship. Is this what you really want or are you just scared of being alone? What can YOU do to make things better? Do you pick the right fights?

It's all good if you can say what your partner should do different, but you are not your boyfriend and can't control his actions. Instead you have to focus on what YOU can do to make things right. I'm not saying that you have all the blame or that you can save your relationship alone, because that takes 2. But sometimes it's so easy to see the faults others have that we totally overlook our own. If you show your boyfriend that you are willing to make an effort it can inspire him to do the same.

So take deep breaths and stay calm. There is nothing you can do to change what is happening, so start accepting it. If your boyfriend doesn't want to be with you anymore then at least you will know that he didn't come to that decision on some mistake, but that he has truly given it some thought.
And if he wants to stay with you, you will know that he truly cares for you and really wants to be together with you.

Stop clinging

You have to respect his honesty. He needs time to think about what he really wants. men do this they go into their cave to think (I recommend the mars & venus book). You are not being dumped, you must not try and control his every move thought and feeling. NAG WHIMPER WINE MANIPULATE AND BULLY AND
YOU WILL LOSE HIM.Ibet you think its not fair that he holds all the cards and you will have to wait for the verdict, but you do ..or you will ruin any chance ou have ofstaying with him. Show him this respect, don't feel rejected , recognise his honesty and understand his basic need space,it isn't a substitute for your presence it really isn't . You don't know whether he will want you again, you might decide you don't want him..and he needs to see if he would miss you...how can he do this if you won't leave him alone for a minute? . Be calm and supportive because it will happen over and over in a good relationship.Get used to it,allow the fact that he is a man. As the book says, relac keep yourself busy and say it will do you both goood.H