Am i fat? a little advice please..

Well, i'm not really sure where to begin. My husband and I have been married a little over a year now, we've known eachother for 2 and a half years. I am 21 years old, he will be 24 at the end of december. So; yes i'm young, and i can tell you i never thought i'd be encountering the problems i have encountered. I was and still am prepared for marriage, i know it's not easy and i never expected it to be. It takes work. I need males and females alike to please give me your opinion on all this...i'll keep it as short as i can, but i'm a descriptive person.
I have always been a physically active person growing up. I showed horses my entire life, jumping fences and competeing in the tri-state area; I am a state champion and trained very hard up until the age of 18. I never thought much about what i ate, and i never gained weight because of how active i was. When i was 18 my mom sold my horses because i moved to florida for college. Here i am in florida, where i met my husband. I stayed the same weight because i still rode horses down here and have been a member of a gym since i've been here. I met my husband, we dated, and he never said anything at all about my weight until AFTER we got married.
On november 7,2 years ago, this was before we got married..my brother died on the same day that my husband flew back to Poland(where he is from) to finish his college. We were apart for 8 months..i did go over there to see him twice, but we were apart. I went into a deep state of depression from my brother dying and being away from my future husband, i did put on about 20 pounds. When my husband came back to the united states that summer..july, we got married in august. He started commenting about my weight a month or two later, it hurt me very much..because i didn't know he felt that way, and also i thought he was being extremely insensitive to the fact that he knew i went through a hard time dealing with the loss of my only sibling. I did agree i needed to lose the weight though, which i did. I know you use kilos..but hm, i'm 5'6 inches and i weighed 145 pounds at my heaviest. I dropped down to 120 after months of running and basically starving myself. I have since gained back some of the weight, but also through muscle. I weigh around 130 pounds now, and i feel quite good about myself. I eat very healthy as well. My husband and I constantly fight about this, actually he likes to avoid talking about it completely even though i sense he is unhappy with my body he will not tell me that. He did call me fat when i weighed 145, and when we are visiting family or on a holiday he will tell me not to eat something because it is bad for me right in front of the people we are with..and it embarasses me very much. He has done so many hurtful things and said so many hurtful things it's unbelievable. The thing is, i am not built like a super model...but i am fit. I went to a nutritionist/dietician yesterday and she did tests on me and evaluated my body, etc, and my metabolism is amazingly good, and according to her i am in great shape and my body is where it needs to be. My stomach holds most of my weight, and it is not like i have this huge gut hanging out...it is just not defined muscles. My husband is 6'8..and weighs 220. He is built naturally thin and looks like a calvin klein model. He is very self disciplined and strict with his eating and his exercise. We go to the gym 6 days a week- i work 1 body part a day, abs every day, and atleast 30 minutes of cardio. Yesterday, afer i explained everything the nutritionist told me..i asked him what he thought about me and my body. He says he doesn't see any difference in me from last year. The number on the scale means so much to him, he wants me to weigh 115..he can't look at me and be like wow your arms are more defined, i can see your abs are tighter, you are on the right track. It's like he beats me down so much i'm surprised i keep trucking along. I'm not a paid model, but i have done plenty of photo shoots for professional photographers. I don't know if this makes sense, but I feel good about myself and know i am a healthy person..but i love my husband and my mind is so confused because he makes me feel so bad about myself, how can i possibly feel good about myself when i can't even comfortably walk around my home naked because i feel like he is looking at me with disgust??? Guys from europe please explain this to me, is this something in my husbands culture that he needs me to be this thin stick woman??? I am not built that way, and yes i can weigh 115 pounds but i can not have nice defined muscles...and that is my ideal body, a healthy powerful body, not just a stick skinny body. Any advice or insight...PLEASE.

You are not fat!!

hey darls you sound like youre in great shape and besides your husband has no right to make these comments!!! its just not ok for him to tell you not to eat something or say he thinks you are fat!!! before i go any further too....so sorry about your brother xx...now im a rider too and we are strong women-theres not only all the muscles used in riding-particularly in competition-but we carry feed and rugs and saddles and do so much incidental strength work its no wonder we are well muscled-its a very good thing - dont undermine your strong healthy body for anyone and you walk naked and proud - tell him that his comments are unacceptable and that he needs to stop now!! please dont let this wreck your self image - you are just fine xx

Nope

he's just babbling. rubbish. you're not fat.

i'd ask him to stop it and just go on eating as much as i like. you know, after all, it's your body, not his.

he's trying to force you into things you don't want to do. you should stand up to him. stay as you are.

as long as you want it, of course! sure you should eat healthy and take care not to gain weight again.
but because YOU want it.

all the best for you!

Your fine

All I see based on what you see is a very healthy young woman who herself does see her body as being important and something to be taken care of. Your weight has never been fat or unacceptable to your height or anything like that and you seem to be very fit, and have the correct mental attitude to health and nutrition to boot. Your husband wants to push you to your full potential by increased pressure on you losing weight to look your best, but I believe deep down behind that he is very proud of you for being fit and healthy and for trying to lose a bit for him. He is being hard on you and there is no excuse for making you lose weight but I don't think he finds you disgusting he is a fit fanatic. Talk to him and tell him to encourage you more and help you with exercises together which will be serious and fun. Explain to him you know he only wants you to look as beautiful as you can but that it'd make you feel so special for him to appreciate your body as it is and you will be able to drop down no problem. I don't think you need to but your husband will stop harassing you and in turn, give your body the attention it deserves which will make you both happy. He needs to be more relaxed about the whole situation and you can walk around with the confidence that you are slim and beautiful while you try to lose a bit of weight and you will for sure. Keep your confidence high and you will be able to work your body anyway you want and making it more trim will be child's play

Opinion from a male.

I wish...

When I read your message my heart went out to you. Your husband should be proud of the fact that he has this beautiful wife who finds it important to stay fit and healthy. It doesnt and shouldnt matter how much you weigh, if this matters so much to him then he needs to take a real good look at what he would lose if you were to call it a day with him.
Im 5ft11/6ft and weigh about 180 pounds so let yourself be glad you dont have my figure! ive just split up with my boyfriend and he used to say that he never cared how much i weighed,he loved me for me.
But I just wish i weighed the same as you and had your type of figure!!! I know its hard when someone that close to says things like that and i think you need to sit him down and have a chat about how this is making you feel...and in answer to your question, no your not fat!!
Hope that helped hunni xxx