Comments welcome please
Hi Peeps
Thanks for taking the time to listen to me blabber on for a bit. I would appreciate your comments.
Ok..so the current situation. I have been seeing someone for the last 6 weeks. We've had 4 dates, spoken loads on the phone and we like each other (we haven't slept together yet). Things have been very busy for him* since we've been going out (Christmas is his busiest time of year). He works full time and he has 3 kids, of which only one is his own but he cares for all of them, mostly at weekends. He lives about 30 miles from me but works in my area.
After coming out of a recent relationship, where I didn't get the space I wanted and felt a bit suffocated, it was nice to meet someone who had his own life because I knew this would mean I could keep my independence as well.
Due to his commitments of late, we have found it very difficult to see each other at various times. We would agree to meet at times but one thing or another seemed to get in the way. This upset me a little because it made it difficult to know where I stood and also a little bit insecure. I've been messed around a lot in the past. I decided to call it off as I didn't like feeling so unstable.
After telling him this, he told me he thought I was fantastic and he really did want it to work out but there are things going on in the background making it hard for him to put me first.
I really like this guy and told him that I would really like it if we could work something out and try and arrange a relationship of sorts around both of our commitments. He says that he isn't sure what he really wants right now, (I think this is due to the background problems going on and the fact that he was really hurt in his last relationship. I don't think he's been able to get or let someone get close)he says he doesn't want to hurt me. His other relationships ended because he couldn't commit to them.
With my current situation, I am also unsure what I really want right now for the future. My only daughter is at college and I feel that my life is just beginning in some ways (I'm only 35). Next year I have projects of my own which I need to focus on and so a full time relationship is not what I'm looking for right now.
We have agreed to meet tomorrow to discuss things and see where we go from here. I think that I would like to see him for at least one day/night a week where we could spend some quality time together. This would give me the opportunity to do what I need to do. If we see each other more than that then great but if not thats all I would like. Something for me to look forward to. Now he doesn't think this is fair...I don't think I'm selling myself short. He gets to have his life, I get to have mine and we get some time together.
OK so the things which come to mind are this.....If he says he's not sure what he wants and doesn't want to hurt me......should I really be intelligent and read this as...If you get into this I'm never gonna be able to give you what and I'm telling you now so don't blame me later...Or is he really saying your not really the person I want. Or (what I'd like it to be...that he's worried about getting hurt again).
Noone knows whats is going to happen. I may end up thinking that this isn't what I want anyway..after getting to know him better. Or I may just fall for him and then feel stupid that I made myself get hurt because I knew how things were.
I guess nothing is guaranteed but do you leave it and never know or just jump and hope your parachute opens?
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