Bored?

im 22 my boyfriend is 19 and we have been together for 2 years

When we first met we were very similar we had both had lots of problems in our life, didnt do much apart from work, and we geled together really well.

Recently i have started to go out with friends from work something i have never ever done before, i had never set foot into a club until this december, i love it, i have a great time, but my bf moaned so he started to come alone, he hates it, he sits there and hardly says much, even tho i try to include him. but he moans the next day. We live quite far apart, so we dont get to spent a load of time together, but his like making me choose between going out and being with him.

But i dont want to spend the rest of my life cooped up at home with him, i wanna be out enjoying myself and i finally have a chance to do this, if he done want to come surelly thats his fault,

Is it wrong that i wanna be out with or without him? can we get passed this? cos at the mo it only causes rows, like we bought tickets to go to a pub with my mates at new year and at 9 on new years eve he backed out so we sat at home,

Own space

hello

your 22 hes 19, the males are less mature then us anyway. you need a life, it might not be his theme, i like to go out but my partner hasnt yet tried to stop me from going out, we will have to see this summer if he does! Clubbing is great i love it and guess what ? im 38,i love the music i love the loudness of it as well. My other halfs like yours, he dont like clubs an never has but theres an age difference of ten years between me and him. My life was spent looking after my children , i have 7. i only started going out when i was in my mid 20's . Set a day that you can both find time to spend together,if he gets you to choose then thats not been fair,talk to him, he seems to be a little insecure. Could you cope with a man that wants to be with you all the time? and not giving you soace to do what you want to do, you only live once make the most out of it.

Do you really want to stay at home been bored all the time ? think of what its going to be like in another 2 years or even when you live together? will he try stop you going out then?

i was with my xpartner for 2years and he liked me with him most of the time as well, i hated it, i got bored , fell asleep when he went visiting,and just wanted to go out without him.

Hence why hes now my x, im with his brother now, and i feel alot happier then before.

Bored?

There's a good chance that your other half is feeling threatened by your 'new life' and that might explain his attitude towards it.

It's not in anyway wrong for you wanting to go out (either with him or without him), but it sounds like you need to chat about it and set some boundaries and maybe also put his mind at rest? For example 'I enjoy going out with my friends, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy spending time with you'?

You mention that you live quite far apart, so maybe you can arrange some nights for just the two of you whilst still timetabling in some clubbing nights without him. If he doesn't enjoy clubbing then that is fair enough, but if you enjoy it then you need to establish a compromise.

"bored?"

I agree with the above post.

I think you need to talk to him as it doesnt sound like he is fully comunicating with you as of why he does not like the whole clubbing scene.

If I was with a lover and did something I did not enjoy what they did I would still do it with them just to be with them - after all I would hope they would do that same with me.

"bored?"

I agree with both of the above posts.
You both need to sit down and talk this thing through. Then hopefully he will be able to understand that when you are going out, that you are just going for a laugh and a giggle with your friends, and not out on the pull. No matter what age boys/men are they find this hard to understand.
However, if after trying to talk it through, you cant reach an understanding with each other, you seriously need to consider if this guy is the right one for you! I know that may sound harsh, but life is very short, too short to be unhappy, unfulfilled and manipulated by someone who supposedly cares for you.
I hope that you get through this and are happy whatever the outcome!

Bored?

andies77, why do you think it best for her to reconsider the relationship? her boyfriend just doesnt like clubbing - its not like he is controlling her by telling her not to go - that I would understand to the point of reconsidering the relationship but the problem is he dislikes clubs therefor is not going to go - all they need to do is talk about it like you suggested in your post too - by the time she is 30+ she may not like going to the clubbing scene any more - by then she may regret this boyfriend she broke up with.