I hate my dh!!

hi,
i have been very happily married for 8 months, and i mean it's amazing, my dh is my soulmate and i love him and i know that he loves me. ok, i found out thro' clicking on history that last night when i was sleeping, he was looking at porn websites, he didn't pay for anything but there was 53!!!!! websites that he'd visited!!!! what makes it worse was that they were all for black ladies with big bums, nothing wrong with that but THAT'S NOT ME!!!! I was so shocked i couldn't believe it, when i confronted him he said that he was looking to download a video for us to watch. i have never watched porn with him and he has never suggested it before. even if this were true then why is looking at black girls? if he has a thing about black girls then why did he marry me? he says he's really sorry and promises that he loves me but all i can think of is that he'll be looking at black girls from now on. i'm so hurt i feel so betrayed but am i overreacting? what do you think?

Hi!

more than a month passed since your post so i hope everything is fine now between you and your husband.
i understand that is never pleasant to catch your man watching at other girls and if you never watched porn together why did he tell you that??
i cought my man watching girls on the net too, i said it wasn t a problem but i needed the computer because i wanted to download picture of man on my mobile!
since that ... is very jealous and stoped to watch naked girls!!(i think!!)

Porn!

Hi Coco

Well I guess it was a bit of a shock when you discovered what he had been looking at, but he was at home looking and not out touching.

No you are not over reacting to the situation but now a little time has passed try and sit down and discuss it rationally. Look him straight in the eye so you know you have his attention and can't sneak off - you might be surprised at his reasons. Tell him if you don't want to watch porn, that is your perogative.

Just don't jump to conclusions until you have heard his side of the story too.

Good luck.

Lindylou6

Hi

thanxs for your responses ladies, i do appreciate it. it wasn't that i have a problem with porn and definitely not with black girls, it was what i felt was the sneakiness of it all. anyway we talked it thro'. thanks again girls, take care.
xxx

Oh my !!!

hello.

Oh my !! men looking at porn is normal,are you jealous of your hubbys/partners looking at porn, or even another black women? I think your all jealous that have a problem with the males looking at another women.Dont you look at other men what ever size turns you on.

If you have a problem with them looking at another women i see it as you see your partners as a possesion, yours, but there not, you dont own them, not yours to keep, they are still a free spirit. How would you like it if they acted like you??? or maybe you like them been possesive.???

My partner has porn, looks at other females bums, ... etc, but so do i . i look at attractive males, nothing wrong with looking is there? as long as both of you are happy with each other whats the problem? if he leaves you for someone else, so what!! plenty fish in the sea. LOADS MORE.

Yep some black slim females are nice, so are some black slender men, so what??? whites are as good as black.

Btw im not a perfect figure either, im pear shape proper english gal!!! but i dont care, i can still attract other men and dont have a problem with it neither.

Your just OVER REACTING !!!!!!

take a chill pill,maybe your not so open minded ashe is!!

Hi

Hi

Well i can sort of understand what your saying, But me for instance i havnt got a problem with porn. Its normal, lots of people do it. But there are means and ways of going around it. Maybe her partner was embarrased like mine was so obviously didnt introduce it earlier on in the relationship, which is why it came as a shock to her and myself. All people have different views, were not all the same. You will find some woman that despise porn and some that love it.

My point with my fella was that he always denied doing it knowing that im fine with it, and our sex life isnt that great at the min anyway, he's on tabs which slow his labido! ;-(

This obviously came as a shock to her and im sure its not the fact that these women have a different skin colour to her, its the fact that maybe she never knew he was interested in black women and has maybe said something in the past that he's only interested in white women. Who knows!!

She's only looking for advise, not people having a go!

Why r u getting mad...

WOULD U WANT HIM TO CHEAT ON YOU THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WIT HIM LOOKING AT A LITTLE PORN...AND DO YOU HAVE TO STRESS THE SITUATION ABOUT IT BEING BLACK WOMEN...WOULD U HAVE FELT BETTER IF THEY'RE WAS WHITE WELL U NEED TO STEP YOUR GAME UP THEN YOUR MAN WOULDN'T BE LOOKING AT US AND BY SAYING US THAT MEANS BEAUTIFUL AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN...

Hey hun

Well.. All i can say is that i have been there before and i know exactly how you feel.

When i first got with my partner which is over a year ago now, he didnt seem the type to do it, i thought i would be all he wants and needs. When we moved in with each other thats when i realised that he was into porn. I dont have a problem with porn which is why it irritated me more because he does it behind my back.
One evening, we had just made love and then i got into the shower. He went straight down stairs and on his laptop which at that point i never knew what he was lookin at. I came down the stairs and sat next to him but obviously he couldnt get the website off in time and he just closed it kwikly. I knew what he was up to and seen lots of girls naked on his computer. I went mad!! It really upset me becasue i never knew he was like it. He swore to me he would never do it again and yes i caught him two other times with it. It really hurt me and i just found myself not trusting him. If he could lie about things like that what else is he hiding, i used to tell myself!! But then it just all got too much, i couldnt be bothered with the worrying. So i just learned to deal with the fact that if he's done it before, he will do it again. No matter how much you tell them. I understand what you mean about the girls, my partner used to look at attractive, slim tall girls. And i aint skinny and i aint tall. lol. Dont let it worry you too much, its not worth getting yourself into a state over. Just tell him that if you catch him again then there will be problems. Thats what i told my bf. And since then i never caught him with any. I just think hes a lot more clever now at hiding things lol. And ive learned to stop going through his things. Cuz yul only find things you dont like. Avoid making your self feel crap!! Good luck and take care xx

Thanks so much!!

wow, that's just what i needed to hear, i felt like i was the only one! yes he has sworn to me he won't do it again, i said that it's not the point, but ok. i'm not bothered about porn it's the way he did it when i wasn't there and who he was looking at. men are basically very stupid creatures and not very complex, love 'em i do but it's true. thanks jodie, you are right, i'm not gonna make myself feel crap because i'm not. you sound cool though, when is your bump making an appearance?
loadsa love
coco
xxxxx

Hey

Hey Coco

No problemo, ive been there before so i know how you feel. You feel betrayed. But... If you know he's gunna do it anyway then dont let it get you down. It doesnt bother me so much any more, prob coz ive not seen him doing it for a while. Maybe if i caught him again i'd go mad!! But hey ho!! I like to think i have my little secrets too. lol.
Im due in October. Cant wait. It's my first but his 3rd so he acts like he knows it all lol. Bless im.
Take care chick.

Jodie

xxx