Boy vs boy...

Well...I'm in a one year relationship with this boy, and he's 16, so am i. We've been dating, and everything seems to be going fine...he has punched and hit me during arguements, is very attention seeking, but very loving and tries hard for me. Bad side, he blackmails alot and is too attached to me. Good side...unlike other boys, tries the hardest i've ever seen for me!

My whole family hate him though, as they read in my diary that i lost my virginity first with him, and that he also abused me.

There's another boy that has just recently come into my life...me and my one year relationship...we're taking some space for our up coming GCSE'S. However, this new boy,is more...what my family would prefer me to go with. I do like him, he is a better kisser, more romantic and understands me more...however...maybe that's because he's new. He thinks we're going out...and we do kiss...as me and my one year relationship is on hold till after the gcse's. I feel that i'm playing them both, and hurting them both...what should i do?

Go against my family but with someone i've been with, for a whole year? Or should i go with the new one, no garuntee that i might last with him, and which my family like better? It's hard to leave my one year relationship though....

I don't know what to do...and i can't go on playing them both...i'm not...but i can't just end one year...for another boy which i don't even know as much you know! But...i don't want to hurt anyone.

Been there, done that!

Hello,
Wow thats rough! Ive have been in the exact same position before. I was about the same age too. My situation was almost identical to yours, he was clingy and too attached, tried entirely too hard. But he hurt me. He didnt mean to, but he did. I had no idea what to do, afterall I was in love with him. But i knew something had to change.

From what i understand, your current realationship is not healthy. His abusive side, even if it only happened a few times, is NOT healthy for you or him. There may be internal reasons for his actions, but reguardless, you cannot allow yourself to stay put and deal with it. I understand the love you have for this boy. I completely understand how hard it must be to even think about walking away from someone you have been with for so long. He is the one you lost your virginity too. I have been there. But no matter how much you love him and how much he tries for you, you can't stay with him. The minute a man hits you, he has stopped caring about you as a woman. He let his temper get the best of him. It may not have been intentional, but it still happened.

So heres what i think you should do, This new guy sounds wonderful for you, romantic, understanding, passionate. I think that is a much better match. Just go for it. You are still young and dating is about finding the perfect kind of guy for you! If you worry about the outcome of every realationship, you will never be able to enjoy it and find your perfect "one". And finally, please don't let men hurt you anymore. Never again. I stuck around and took it way to long. I dont want you to have to go through the hurt that i did. Be strong, and understand sometimes things dont work out, but there is always something better coming around the corner, so go for it! Hope this helped, and good luck!