Why??????

please can anyone offer any advice on this........My boyfriend has just finished with me over one 'out of order' comment that i made. We have known each other 11 years and have a a lot of history.....he has always wanted me and at first i didnt want him then we gave it ago, but he hurt me, we were out of touch for awhile and in that time he got married to someone else,3 years ago we came into contact again and it was hard because there were still feelings there on both sides, esp on his. Nothing happened cause he was married and there is no way i would get involved in that, but we did keep in contact. Eventually he told me that he was leaving,he said things werent good with his wife anyway that he got married cus he thought he couldnt have me, that i was the love of his life and he had to follow his heart.

He did leave,and we have been together for 2 months, everything has been great,he couldnt be nicer, or tell me he loves me more......then 2 days ago, we were bantering and he was pushing it a bit to far,saying i do silly things etc but he was just joking around, as a comparison i said 'u do stupid things to like marry people u dont want to'. He went MAD at me, saying 'he now sees how i operate and that it was a really low thing to say' At first i didnt see what i had done wrong and argued back.

The next morning i realised i was out of order and apolygised, twice, he understandbly was still mad with me so i gave him some space. The next day i didnt hear from him so i rang to see how things were, he matter of factly told me 'he saw me in a different light' because of what i had said that it had tripped a switch in him and he couldnt go back! I tried to explain that although i was out of order i really wasnt being nasty trying to hurt him that i just used a very bad comparison. That after everything we had been through to be together he would end it over one error on my part, (over the years i have forgiven him a lot). Its been 24 hours since we spoke and we speak all the time so i know he is gone for good, im heartbroken that although i was wrong he didnt love me enough to even try to get past it (this man declared his love to me everyday and was always saying how great i am). To do something so drastic seems harsh to me and now im questioning if he ever ment anything he ever said to me. Was it an excuse to end it with me? (although everything was great till i said that) or is it possible that one comment can change the way u feel about somebody just like that?????

He was stupid

by the sounds of it i think he just wanted an excuse to end it. i dont think a comment like that (especially one that is true) can change the way someone feels about you. i hope you find someone better than him and i hope he learns to grow up and face the truth.

BabyBlue x x

Because....

"many a true word is spoken in jest"

'bantering' that turned nasty sounds like he was itching for the fight...and that you've played right into his hands.

As for what you said....why apologise...its the truth isn ...

Lets face it, ok you've know each other for years, but you've only been together a couple of months, and he hardly seems a reliable person...I know someone who married his wife just so he could get a better posting in the army...they stayed married for a couple of years but did eventually get divorced...I doubt she knows the real reason for her hastily arranged wedding (he only had a few weeks to accept the new posting with the Army and had to be married as they only had married quarters!) - and I don't suppose she knows just how quickly he was unfaithful to her. He has gone through life since, promising the world to his girlfriends and treating them like princesses, and yet after a few years, dumping them for the most innocuous reasons. His latest girlfriend (of 6/7 months)is young enough to be his daughter and she has already said how fantastic he treats her. I could let her know what he's really like, but I won ... something she needs to find out for herself.

which brings me back to you and your situation.

You knew exactly what he is like and just how shallow he can be. Put yourself in his wife's shoes for 5 minutes and think how she must be feeling. Her husband got back in touch with an old flame, who promptly struck up a good (and I suspect close) friendship again, he has now left her for this close friend.

The fact is, you may have made your comment in jest, but deep down you are acknowleging your mistrust of him. You are already apologising as if you said something wrong...you didn't, you was just a little 'direct'....

If he comes back and you still want him, then good for you (I personally won't hold my breath that you will live happily ever after though)...if he doesn't come back, thank you lucky stars that you've only wasted 2 months of your life on someone who clearly doesn't know what he wants.

may sound harsh...but its my opinion for what its worth.

Thanks

No thanks for your opinion, its appreciated....sometimes its hard to see the wood for the trees. I do deserve better than him, im just not in the place to see it right now but i am determined to get there. thanks.