I dont want to have sex with ym boyfriend, please help me!!

Hi I've decided to write on here as I dont know what to do. Ive been with my boyfriend for nearly 3years and for a long time ive had sex with him because if i dont then it just causes more problems. I just feel like I never want it and sometimes when he talks about it or when we do have sex he jut makes me feel sick. I dont know what is wrong with me?? I love him so much and I think I want to be with him but would prefer not to have sex(obviously this cant happen)

Please help

xx

Advise

YOU ARE NOT RESPECTING YOURSELF BY LIEING YOU SAY YOU LOVE HIM WELL TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL AND TALK YOU SHOULD ALSO CONTACT A DOCTER AND TELL HIM FIND OUT IF YOU HAVE A MEDICAL PROBLEM

Same ere

u no wat that same thing happend to me but it was a lil patch but after a couple weeks it went bak to normal but i was jus like u feelin sick after had sex i didnt no wat it was it was sooo weird
so dont worry babe ur not the only 1

Maybe

Maybe in the past you had a bad 'sexual' experience, or you experienced violence and all this you're feeling now is a consequence.
Or maybe, more simply, you're not enough attracted by your boyfriend

Be honest to yourself and try to understand why you don't like having sex with your boyfriend.

Don't be scared to see the truth

Obviously

I wanted to say attracted enough

Hhmm

Hi,

If YOU HAVE BEEN WITH HIM FOR THREE YEARS AND YOU LOVE HIM TO BITS, TRY THINKING BACK WHEN YOU GOT PUT OFF HAVING SEX WITH HIM, THE IS THERE JUST THINK HUN.

RITA X

That's a toughie!!

Not easy to suggest anything without asking more info first:

Was he your first?

Have you EVER enjoyed it with him?

If you had other sexual partners, did you enjoy it with them?

Does he hurt you when you're doing it?



Loads and loads of practical questions as well as emotional ones in terms of your relationship that you have to ask yourself...but most importantly, HAVE YOU SPOKEN ABOUT IT WITH HIM??!!

Max.

msg

no he wasnt my first but ive been in two long term relationships from i was 14. Im now 20years old.

I did it enjoy it at first but now it feels like I have to do it. When I come home from work I hav to do all the washing etc so this takes priority, ive tried asking him to help but he does for about 2days then thats it.

ive had other sexual partners and no he dosnt hurt me.

we have spoken about it many times and he just suggest practising more sex and it will all be better?!?!

we had an arguement last night about it again, in the end we ended up having a laugh with each other listening to music and joking around and when we had sex it was fine??

Im so confused!!

xx

Your last sentence...

about laughing and joking around is quite relevant!! It looks to me that you feel under pressure to have sex as soon as you're together, whereas, when you happen to spend some time around each other, to relax together, to laugh (laughing is a great aphrodisiac!) you must feel that you're connecting to your man emotionnally and that helps you enjoying sex.

It's easy, you both got to work more on the "preliminaries", not just jump in and "do it" Try to spend some more time together without thinking of if you're going to end up in bed or not...and as far as him helping around, this is the first step: DO THE CHORES TOGETHER!!!

Honest, nothing like washing up/drying together and chat about your days, or make the bed together, to relax around each other after a long day at work and away from each other.

Max.

Thanks

thanks everyone for your comments i think this has helped!!

xx

It would be lovely if we could have helped you a little

In any case, I hope you're feeling better, you two talk more and let us know how things progress

Max.