Someone please give me some advice!

I have been seeing this girl for over an month now. Things were going well, until she told me that she wasnt looking for a relationship at the min. I accepted that and we still hooked up and went out. She went on holiday abroad and while she was away, she txt me a few times seeing how I was etc. When she got back off holiday we again hooked up and went out. I thought things had changed as she was very keen on me with the way she said things etc.

One night we went out and we ended up sleeping together for the 1st time. I was quite nervous as I really liked her and couldnt get an erection at 1st. I appologied to her and said that I didnt want to dissapoint her in anyway.Anyway I eventually got an erection!

After than night, she has been very distant with me, I have not heard from her much. Things have changed since that night we slept together. I have talked to her just saying if she was ok with me and she said yes but again repeated to be that she wasnt ready for a relationship and that she was affraid of commitment. I just said I thought things had changed as we slept together and she was really sorry.

But mayb it was due to the fact of that night. My sex life hasnt been good for a while. I was in a 3 year relationship, which we hardly had no sex together. And its been 2 yrs since we split up. I had a really good sex life bfore I met my Ex. May be im out of practice... I dunno, im very embaressed... and I feel ashamed!

So what am I to do? I really like her a lot. Its driving me crazy as I wanna just ask her about that night we had together, whether it was to do with that or not. I dont wanna come accross as im pestering her.

"someone please give me some advice!

if you think she is being distant because of that night then talk to her, and see how she really feels maybe she has issues with commitment because she has been hurt a lot in the past. And i don't think anything is wrong with you some guys when they really like a girl have hard time getting up, my current BF had a hard time getting up when we were first together and i think it was because he was so focused on pleasing me that he couldn't relax and just enjoy the sex. and if you really like her then you should express this to her.

Advice

Talk to her, I'm a woman and was in a similar situation with a guy I was seeing. Looking back I may of come across a littke distant with him at times, not that my feelings were not real or that I did'nt want to show them, it was just because I was scared and wanted him to re-assure me. I wish he called me and wished for so long that we could talk - your not pestering her - your doing what a grown adult should do - talk!!

Good luck

Mr. fix it

Oh the worse thing you could do is get into a conversation about that night. Forget it and move on. Women do not like to talk it to death....sometimes that puts a damper on the whole relationship. She wanted sex so did you....accept it as it is. Love is one plane and sex is another. She sounds rather independent and has been hurt. Women want a man that does not whine and can stand on their own. Your are not her keeper and she does not want to keep you...show her your a real man.....and just keep your mouth shut.....and enjoy each other.....do not put any pressure on her. And learn to relax and enjoy sex the moment and what ever comes your way. Men are always trying to fix things.....when women just want you to listen to them and want you to talk to them like equals. Stop trying to fix it just do.

I think...

think what happened when you slept with her has no connection
or whatsoever with her decision....
probably, she tried to test herself if sleeping
with you would want her to have a steady guy...
but that has nothing to do with it....

Friends

I think that you should take a step back from this lady and give her time, just try being a friend for now and take things slowly

Hey

My dear,
Just do your mind dont look for anybody to advic you okay

Sam 3589

maybe after she came off holiday she thought that things might be different between u too so she saw u again, slept with u and then realised that it wasnt right. doh think that it was anything to do with the sex and then thats really low x

Advice

First of all wot happend to you that night has nothing to do with y she dosent want to go out with you ok. That happens to alot of guys wen they sleep withj a girl they like...it happend to my bf he was so enbarrased but he told me it was becase he couldnt beleive someone wanted him and that he liked me so much that he was nervous. This girl just didnt want a serious realationship if anythin she is just a player and do you really want to go out with someone like that who dosent have the respect to tell you the truth and just hooking up all the time is not the way to go/...just for get her and move on find someone who actuaklly cares and by the way next time before you do anything like hook up por sleep with someone make sure you are going out

Have you decided?

hi there.sorry to be nosey but its been bugging me! lol how's it going with you,have you called her or seen her again? X

Hello there

firstly i feel the same as the other 2replies-in no way should you feel ashamed+i do agree that maybe because you liked her/wanted her so much,your body just could't cope. about 5years ago i slept with a man that i knew had liked me for a long time-that night at first he could't get an erection and then when he did it was all over far too quickly! he was absolutely devastated+i kinda thought maybe he just did't fancy me enough or i did't turn him on.it took us quite a while afterwards to be able to talk about it but we did and have now been married for 3years!!! lol i think you should call her and explain that you really enjoy her company and if she'd like to see you again then just give you a ring.-that way you've told her how you feel-no pressure and the ball is in her court! best of luck. Lorraine X

Arh....

Hiya,Just read you post and I feel like I want to give you a big ((((hug)))).

Don't feel ashamed that this has happened. I can tell you that this has happened to me with two guys before, and I did all I could to convince them that it was not their fault and these things happen from time to time.

Its perhaps that you are so "in awe" of her and wanted to make such a good impression that your body was put under stress! When stress comes into the equation then your body does weird things.

I can tell you that I was seeing this guy and because he fancied me so much he had problems getting an erection.

You would probably thinks this is weird but I could tell that he was quite upset about it but it was no big deal to me. In fact we have been having fantastic ### since (the best in fact!) so don't let this experience put you off.
In my opinion, I think you should call/text this girl to have a chat about it.

If she doesn't respond then she really isn't worth knowing. Pick yourself up and move on honey!
There are so many lovely single girls out there for the taking, who deserve to have someone as lovely as you!
Good luck

L x

Don't feel ashamed..

hey fitguy...

well first of all, you don't have to feel embarrassed or ashamed, that can happen at times...no biggies. But I can understand what you feel though regarding the "distance attitude". Actually I do not think it has something to do with your past and that your "sex skills" are temporally "sleeping". this kind of is like riding a bicycle, you just don't forget ; the worst however may be that you won't be as spontaneous than before and think too much...as for the rest...:-P

you sound like a "good" guy from what I can read, maybe the "too nice one" ? I don't think questionning her about that night is very judicious, and whatever she won't probably answer you or she'll try to skip it or just telling you things you wanna hear just not to make harm you...no point then.

One question comes to my mind, may have some importance...how old are you guys ? Isn't she a bit younger than you so that it could explain why she's just not ready to get into a serious relationship ?

look, I think she's sort of interested by you, otherwise she wouldn't waste her time hooking up with you, texting you from abroad and eventually spend a night with you if she didn't want it.

BUT...BUT....for whatever reasons, (either she's too young or just got too many bad experiences before...etc.) she IS JUST NOT READY to get into the relationship you want you both to go, see what I mean ?

I guess she must feel even more embarrassed than you, cause kind of "using you" to satisfy her needs...wait a minute, I didn't mean you were a "sex plan", an ONS (one night stand) or something like that, otherwise and I already said, she wouldn't waste her time with you. BUT it eventually ended up in a way and I guess she feels/knows you have feelings for her and that night spent together may just have made things worse. So that she gets distant from you not to hurt you more...see ? (as far as I can guess of course)

YOUR options....

1/ just leave her or you just gonna get completely hurt.
2/ stay around her if you want, but it's at your own risks ! don't be "too much", take things easy, she's not ready at that time, so don't keep hope. let her make her life, make yours...kind of keep contact with her if you both want (but then it'll be more difficult for you to get over it...)

you might be right to eachother but you just didn't meet at the right time...that's pity I know. can't do much about it...

good luck man !!