Ex-girlfriend who just wants to stick around

Here's my story.

I met my boyfriend, Dan at a professional seminar 2 years ago.
Since then, he never failed to keep in touch with me. However, along the way, I found out something that made my heart break- he was already attached.
To cut the long story short, he broke up with his girlfriend of 2years to be with me when i made him choose 3months later.

The thing now is his ex-girlfriend seems to be very dependent on him to do everything. She needs him to buy her groceries, needs him to send her to work etc.
I told him i cannot take things like that.
If he chose to be with me, I believe he shouldnt be still tied down by the obligations mentioned above.
He begged me to allow him to at least help her get on her own two feet and that will take another 6-7months.

Here's the worst part, she has been staying with him when they were together and she refuses to move out eventhough they have broken up. Now they live in the same unit but not room.
And my boyfriend doesnt even have the freedom to stay over at my place (eventhough i was terribly ill)!
Sometimes, i feel like the other woman. I feel as if his ex is more important than me.
What am i to do?
Dump him and get along with life or make him choose once again?

I dont have the right to blame his ex because I have no idea what her side of the story is.
Perhaps my boyfriend is still not over her and it makes him feel better to still have her around therefore, it was not her who didnt want to move out but it was him who refused to let her go.

I really need some helpful advice or comments as I am desperate to get out of this misery.

Update

oh yes! his ex-gf clearly has an intention to break us up or something like that (tho shes not admitting). I havent contacted my bf since I told him to choose. It hurts like hell to have to do that, but I am persevering because I know I deserve better than having to bear with him living under the same roof and having obligations with her etc.

Right now, I need lotsa support and I do hope he learns to be firm in order for our relationship to work out. Im drowning myself with work so that I don think about it for now because I cant do anything-it's all up to him.

Thank you so much for all your advices. I wouldnt have the strength or confidence in making him choose as well as sorting things out properly.

Hi

hi
my advice is walk away, while you still have your self respect, and more importantly your sanity.
even if he eventually chooses you, all this, will affect your relationship, you may say "no it wont" but believe me it will. you will doubt his love for you, you will question his every move. you will be suspicious in everything. every tme hes late home you will wonder, every time he gets a call youl be paranoid.
Ive been there, and its not a nice place to be.
Ive gone exactly through what your going through, and i thought that when he eventually broke free and came with me things would be "rosey" but it wasnt. I ended up on anti-depressants. on a happier note were still together 5yrs later and very happy, but the first 2yrs were a constant battle, because the whole situation made me weak in every way.
I would never put myself through that again, which is why im saying...walk away, find someone totally single there are plenty of decent, honest, trustworthy guys out there.
good luck.

Thanks so much

Thank you so much for all the advices.I made him choose and he told me he has no choice because he made that promise and just want to keep his promise till the end of this year only. He asked and begged me to understand. I told him that, before making such a promise he shud have talked to me about it before even agreeing because it has to do with OUR relationship and i am involved. he cant go making such decisions without me knowing and accepting. I told him I cant find a space in my heart to understand and its gotta be me or his obligations with her. I told him to contact me when he is ready and `clean'. But he said he IS ready and I shud contact him when I can understand his situation because he has no more dignity or ways to beg me already.He said that I shud understand the fact tht we din start off `clean'- as in he had a gf and dumped her for me.
I insisted on him contacting me and that he will not hear from me if he doesnt make the first move or if he cant decide. I told him I wont give a damn if he gets back with her and I salute her for her bitchy way. It was so difficult to make him stop begging and all but I stood firm.
Right now, I'm feeling all hurt and upset, missing him terribly. To make things worse, I had a nightmare.
It was like we went out shopping together and then there was a fire. We almost managed to get to the front door but he got shot by some stranger from behind. I tried to pull him out but I had someone else pulling me to safety, leaving him behind. I remember standing outside the building hoping he will make it. when the fire was out, I was crying so badly asking people where he was and is he really gone. The feeling was terrible! I remember crying and sobbing, saying `nothing matters now no matter what people or I say' coz all i hav is the picture of us on my mobile(i saw it so clearly in the dream 2). I woke up crying so hard for at least half an hour not knowing what to do. I din wanna lose him just like that.
So now I am in a dilemma whther to contact and check on him or be ignorant.

Unacceptable!

That sort of an arrangement is totally unacceptable! He needs to choose (for real this time) or you need to drop that boy. No woman should have to put up with that nonsense! Living with his ex? Girl, you should NOT have to deal with that.

Ex-girlfriend around

your boyfriend is busy two-timing you. He wants his bread butter both sides. Give him a alternative she goes or you do!!!! that is final otherwise you are the one going to get hurt- believe me!

Hi

male are mostly like to have more sexual and emotional relations, this is gender issue. they make all such relations dependent on them. that's your case. my advise would be leave him and try to find out another one, don'r be emotional in this case.
sadabahar