I cant move on!

i was with my partner for over 4 years but he ended it with me afew months ago,we have 2 children .
he said that he wanted to be single n carefree but afew nights ago i checked his phone while he was asleep because i suspected somethink wasnt right and i found loads of messages from his mates ex wife sayin that she loved him too and missed him and cudnt wait to have his arms around her again.
iam heartbroken,i asked him about it but he said it wasnt what i thought it was but i know hes been sleeping with her and then coming back to me.
i just cant get over the betrayal of it all,i dont know wat todo?
i never want to see him again but i know that ive got too because of the children,how can i cope with all this?

Think of your children

yes..think of your children..
makes sure they are still your partners
top priority....
and do the rest....

I understand.

i totally understand what you are saying! my partner also did the same thing only 2 months ago, we also have children together and was together for just over 5 years. I was distraught when i found out, now to make matters worse my now ex partner is 100% with the other woman while im left with the kids! But do not get yourself down hun, nobody expects you to just bounce up and be able to pretend everything is ok, i know how you feel not wanting to see him i myself feel the same way but your main priority is the childen and he is still there dad, the only advice i can give is take everything 1 step at a time, if possible make sure it is his priority to have the kids as often as he can, that way you will have time to yourself to try and accept and adapt to the situation, your partner needs to accept the fact they have put you in that situation and they have had plenty of time to get used to it, where you havent had that time yet. Remember there are always people you can talk to hun so you are never alone. take care x

Is it my fault?

thank you for takin the time to give me some advice as i feel im fallin apart sometimes,its so good to be in contact with some one who knows what it feels like.
my ex still wont admit to anythink so it makes it even harder because hes carrying on as normal acting like were mates and he doesnt realy see our sons only when he feels like it.my family and friends have been great.
i still feel like hes stamped all over me but i know time will heal me from what im feeling still.
you seem like your realy strong?i wish i was !
i feel guilty too cus i feel like its my fault,thats what he says to me,even tho he said he hasnt slept with her.i wana turn my feelings off and stop loving him but right now i cant,im scared that im always gona feel like this.only time will tell tho eh?thanks again .x