Good advice needed

Hi everyone, I'm new here and to this sort of thing so forgive me if the post rambles on!
My fiance and I have been together almost 6yrs and have a son together, plus he is 'stepdad' to my 2 daughters. Our life has been stressful due to his work, my ex, and the fact that our son and I almost died when he was born. My problem is that I recently, and accidently found some texts from another woman on my fiance's phone. It wasn't hidden away, and I often play the games on his mobile which he knows and is fine with, a text came through when I was using it. After worrying about this for weeks I have now found that he has profiles on a couple of dating sites. I haven't asked him outright, but I has talked to him about the fact that he can be secretive when online (shuts down pages when I come near) he says he has been talking to men and women online as a way of escaping the stress we are under and not burdening me with it. He talks all the time about our future, and how much he loves me...so what should I make of this? He says he trusts me completely so shouldn't I trust him? He has always said that he wouldn't have children unless he was sure of the woman he was with and wouldn't get engaged either. So should I be worried or am I over-reacting? In ALL ways he is a wonderful, considerate and caring partner and fantastic dad. I can't discuss this with him as I am scared of losing him, he is everything to me and I CANNOT subject my son to a break up as my daughters have suffered so much from my split with their dad(although he was abusive). Sorry it's so long.

Hmmmmmm

This sounds a bit suspicous to me. Out of respect for you, he should not be doing things that make you worry or feel uncomfortable (even if they are innocent). He should not be putting you in that position. He can easily say 'you should be able to trust me' as a way of making you just accept what he is doing. Also, because he is really nice to you, you are in danger of accepting these things because the relationship is good. You should have his full loyalty, no half measures.

I wouldnt go in all guns blazing, i would just explain calmly that u dont feel happy about him being on the dating sites. He should really take this on board.

good luck

Sorry but he is lying

Hiya,

I was only on this site to look at recipes but was having a little look through the relationship stuff, as you do, and was struck when I came across your message. I'm sorry but he is definitely hiding something - I am speaking from experience of an ex (yes that's right, I dumped the lying git!) who was doing the same kind of thing.

You need to confront him if you want to save your relationship - if you're lucky and he hasn't actually cheated on you then you might have something left to save. His excuse about being stressed is rubbish - I'm sure you are stressed as well but you're not going to chatting to randoms on websites?! If you are both stressed you need to work through your problems as a couple - perhaps set a wedding date so you have something to look forward to - if that's what you BOTH want!

Advide from a sister

hi sis .......well i accually think you shoud unvestigete more in this sites and try to takl to your fiance asks him why he shuts the computer when you came also i think if he loves you he should tell you evry not teeling you (not i dnt wanna burdening you with it ) peace

Advice

Hi babs, sorry to be negative, but.....if he is telling these people on line about how much he loves you etc, why is he closing it down before you can see it, I would be vary wary. I am so sorry to hear about you and your son, but honestly i would question him more, better to find out now then later on sweetheart, and to put you through more hurt. Love is after all sharing everything, that includes the stresses that everday life brings. good luck love and I hope everything works out for you. xx

Advice

Hi babs, sorry to be negative, but.....if he is telling these people on line about how much he loves you etc, why is he closing it down before you can see it, I would be vary wary. I am so sorry to hear about you and your son, but honestly i would question him more, better to find out now then later on sweetheart, and to put you through more hurt. Love is after all sharing everything, that includes the stresses that everday life brings. good luck love and I hope everything works out for you. xx

Your not over-reacting

hi ya, it sounds like you an your fiance has been through a lot together with you an your son nearly dying, try sitting him down AGAIN an tell him bout the texts an ask who she is even though he tells you he loves you it sounds like he needs to show you more, he shouldnt close windows on the net when you come into a room as he is hiding some thing, tell him how you feel bout it an the texts, i hope it all goes well for you xxx