Fella's gone off sex with me, help!

Hi, first timer here but dont know where else to go for advice, ive bin with my partner 3.5 years and our relationship is practically perfect on every level except in the bedroom, he rarely wants sex and its always me that initiates it.Whenever i bring the subject up he just says hes too tired but he spends a lot of time when im at work on the internet looking at porn.we split for a few weeks 6 months ago because i found that he was having an internet relationship with another woman.he swore that he hadnt met with her and said it was just a bit of fun, but why cant he have the same fun with me? Ive tried new underwear toys and dirty texts but hes just not interested and its making me more and more paranoid. Any advice please?

So similar

Sorry but i can't believe what i'm reading i'm having the same problem only ive been with my partner for 7 years, it all started about 6 or 7 months into our relationship when he told me that he only went out with me coz he thought i was on a diet i know why am i still with him well i thought things would change between us but it hasn't ive caught him watching porn on more than one ocassion and broken 2 laptops because of this! we split up a few times and we got back he says he loves me but the last time we were intimate with each other was last may 2008 i've tried to talk to him and he seems to just change the subject. I know our problem is that he just does not find me attractive because i am overweight so why does he stay hes 37 and i'm 33 i told him if he is not happy then leave i feel as though life is passing me by i realise sex is not the be all and end all of a relationship but i miss it and longer this is going on i feel like i'm losing feelings for him i'm getting to a stage were i'm affraid that i'm going to hurt him by ending our relationship and there will be no going back this time. Thanks for listening

This could be me!!!

Sorry but i can't believe what i'm reading i'm having the same problem only ive been with my partner for 7 years, it all started about 6 or 7 months into our relationship when he told me that he only went out with me coz he thought i was on a diet i know why am i still with him well i thought things would change between us but it hasn't ive caught him watching porn on more than one ocassion and broken 2 laptops because of this! we split up a few times and we got back he says he loves me but the last time we were intimate with each other was last may 2008 i've tried to talk to him and he seems to just change the subject. I know our problem is that he just does not find me attractive because i am overweight so why does he stay hes 37 and i'm 33 i told him if he is not happy then leave i feel as though life is passing me by i realise sex is not the be all and end all of a relationship but i miss it and longer this is going on i feel like i'm losing feelings for him i'm getting to a stage were i'm affraid that i'm going to hurt him by ending our relationship and there will be no going back this time. Thanks for listening

"fella's gone off sex with me, help!"

maybe you two should seek some counselling for your sex life I you ever thought that maybe he isn't attracted to you sexually, you can be in relationships and not be sexually attracted to your partner. So that is why i think counselling would be the best thing for you two. Or he could be sexually fruastrated perhaps dealing wioth some conflicting issues that have to do with sex. get tp talking to him and try to figure out what it could possibly be how was your sex life in the beginning of your relationship.

Fella's gone off sex with me, help!""

how have you guys been have you decided to seek professional help

Hi

Well i can understand how paranoid you must be feeling!! After just 3 and a half years your sex life should still be going strong.
Have you asked your partner by sittin down and talking,if there is a problem??Maybe he is stressed at work,or depressed....or maybe (please dont take offence) but has your image changed ..?Maybe you have put weight on ,so you dont appeal to him anymore,he may not fancy you as he did before,dont want to upset you by saying this,but i had a friend with the same problem after 2 years,and it was due to her not making as much effort (hair,make up etc)and she had put on 2 stone,and he no longer found her attractive.
Men are very visual ....porn is a easy way to relieve them selves without any effort of sex.
You really need to discuss whats going on,sex isnt everything but its a big part of a healthy relationship...i just hope for your sake he isnt cheating.
All the best.xx

Sorry can't really help

does it really matter if he met her or not that fact he started a relationship with another women on the internet!
i find that very worring! i know somtimes you can go in and out of phase's in a relationship were the sex can dry up due to work, stress etc, the fact he is showing no interest in you. ask him what is going on? sorry i can't help you anymore but to honest i don't think a man is worth much if he makes you feel so worthless!!!

Men men men...

i find myself in the same situation. and ive only been with him for 2 years. but i might had something that might help you. My boyfriend is into weight training and the gym. And takes these protein shakes that include testosterone. It makes him want sex a hell of alot more. i know that you want him to have some emotion whilst having sex with you but maybe by the boost in testosterone might enhance his feelings for you. Maybe you should talk him into protein shakes with high testosterone, but don't mention that it will help your sex life. You don't want him to feel like you are forcing him. But after a couple of these shakes we wont be able to keep his hands to himself.