Time to grieve after break up and should i hope?

Okay,
I'm young, I'm 15, and last may (that's May 2008), I broke up with my boyfriend, well, I don't know that I can really call him a boyfriend, more of a quickly made friend, who I [sexually] experimented with. I loved him, but I don't know that he felt quite like I did. Definitely something, but not sure how much...
Yes I had sex with him
He lives in Suffolk so I only got to see him every...month. Phone conversations were infrequent

That was quite a while ago now, almost 5 months ago, but I still think about it everyday. About him, (I often fantasize, is that bad??????) and because my mum and his mum are good friends, I know that at some point, I will get the chance to see him. I want to and I don't want to. I know that if I got back together with him, it would have to be a secret (easily carried off, we had to for the first four months of our relationship) But I don't know that he would want it, but I need him back SO badly.
Note I haven't seen him since we broke up, neither have I contacted him

I do so badly need help so anything will be appreciated
yours,
meg