Please help - what should i do???

Okay..this is how it goes...

I have been seeing this girl for a year and half and we have had our ups and downs..

She is kinda with someone but things have not been smooth for a while now..plus se hardly tells me or wants to talk about it...I am also in limbo as my relationship with someone isnt really working...

so in effect, we have been seeing each other for over a year now..she is everything to me.. we cant stay away from each other and have the best times together either with friends or alone.

I love her to bits and anytime we have an arguement we both have a difficult time until we speak and make up...


It was her birthday recently and we had the biggest argument on her birthday.Nothing you can ever imagine.. lets just say it was nasty...

The evening started good, went to a resturant and then to a club..I was with her when the clock struck midnight and wished her happy birthday etc..It was a really nice evening until we got home.. We had our first argument and another and another about different things i dont even want to go into...

basically it got really heated, she threw out my birthday presents I had given her earlier, we ended up in a scuffle when she took my mobile and refused to give it back,only cos I refused to give her back her cardigan she had left in my car, during the scuffle, she tripped and fell..I helped her up and then she went ballistic on me.. she hit me a couple of times and screamed to get the hell outta her life and even threatened to call the police..to be honest I am not painting a picture of she was the bad person here..You probably want to know if I did hit her and the answer if NO..(catergorically NO!) She is of the view I pushed her to the ground during the scuffle and I did not ....this was at 4am on Sundae around her house...

Her birthday was on the sunday and because of the extent and shear seriousness of the argument we had that morning, I did not call her on her birthday..

I was confused, could not belive what had happened on the day (esp. on her birthday ).. I did not get much sleep on the saturday, I was disorientated and didnt know what or where to go or wat to say..i was contemplating sending her an email that evening and was still not sure what to say.. At around, 9pm on her birthday, she text me to say - thank you for completely ruining my bday. i hope ur finally happy. you didnt have the decency to apologize for what happened - today of all days . cos im totally useless to u...i wish i'd never met u, you are the biggest jerk ever...

i replied to say - I know hearing from me was the last thing she needed. She yelled stay the ... outta my life on sunday ... i told her I was confused, scared etc as I had never seen her like that...

I said i was truly sorry we argued like that and she should give me the chance to make it up.i apologised again and again..i didnt dare call her...

On Monday morning, I sent her another text to apologise for what happened on Sundae

This was her reponse to me- You are less than nothing to me and I dont care if you live or die..ive thrown everthing out all ur cheap presents that remind me of your crap existence. Dont you dare come near me or contact me again, esp with your pathetic textxnot next month, nxt yearNOT EVER. You can mark this in stone , i will never forgive you. Now, get the hell out and stay out of my life..

I left her a VM to contact me as I need to speak to her..She called me on Monday evening...we spoke for 2hours and she told me she needed me on Sundae and I was not there..i explained how i felt and apologised for letting her down We promised each other we would never argue again or let our arguments get that far.. We ended the telecon and I hinted that I would pop round hers on Tues afternon..

I went oer on Tuesday afternoon and I took along a bunch of flowers, the presents and card I got her (the ones she threw out on Sundae eveining).

After a lot was said, I produced the flowers to say sorry again and the presents..

She immediately switched in her tone and behaviour towards me ...she said I was so insensitive bringin her the presents to remind her of her crap birthday all cos of me and I expect her to take the presents? She declined to take them and also the flowers.. she said how could I think giving her flowers meant all was okay..which I never said!

I was so frustrated and angry..cos I did not know what else to do.. she said she would wish me well in life and asked me to wish her well...I couldnt do it with the way I was feeling.. I almost cried as I didnt know what else to do...

She got out of my car and drove off in hers..

i threw the bunch of flowers away on my way home and have not spoken or contacted her since..

Here are my QUESTIONS -

Was it wrong of me to give her a bunch of flowers?? or give her the presents I bought? Okay, the bday card I could have done without cos only served as a reminder but was it wrong to go with flowers and the presents?

What should I say or can I do to let her know how sorry I am for ruining her birthday..

Should I just let her go..I really am going to struggle with it cos I love her to bits and what you have just read doesnt tell you how much we mean to each other... what can I do?

I will appreciate your views on my actions and what I can do.....

Here is an update

Okay... I have been trying really hard not contact her but then I did...

I sent her a number of emails cos I was unable to cope with how I was feeling..I told her I didnt want to leave things the way they were so I need her to say something...so if we meet somewhere, there is no hostility between us...well, I said a lot for her to think about....

this is the reply I got via txt

u keep asking wat will happen if we ever see ech other, like I am actually going to c u again! why the concern? u worried ill make a scene in front of ur precious gf.. ... off..i feel sorry for the dopy cow, she needs all the help she can get with you so u kan stop worrryin. stop sending me txts and emails,u just wind me up.

Then that evening, she turned up at my house and demanded we talked.. she came up and said, I was sending her pathetic emails and she wanted to make it clear she was not going to be malicious to me.. I said i didnt think she was bit I wanted to make peace..she demanded to know if i had anything else to say..

To be honest I was so confused and shaky cos she just turned up at my house....I wanted her to stay so we talk more but she was very harsh when talking to me and got up when I said nothing more to say.. she slammed my door and walked away...

I thought about it for about an hour and called her back, I said there was a lot to tell but I wasnt able to speak .. all I wanted to tell her is not to send texts like she does t me.. that she thinks carefully about th texts before she sends them...cos she continues to sends txt like the one above to someone and it might be a different scenario altogether cos the person could react..

she cos angry and asked me who was I to give her advice..I said this was all I wanted to say to her and did not want a futher confrontation....she then said goodbye and hung up...

We had no contact for over 7 days until 19th April when I went to a comdey show with two of my male friends

Me and hr would normally attend the show but because of everything we did not attend together...

Whilst outside the venue with one of my mates ,I saw her car pulled up and I did not
say nuthing to her.. My matte knew something was up as I was always with her..he was shocked she was there without me...

We proceed to the show and there was no contact between me and her... I noticed she sat with a girlfriend in the crowd and I was with my mates upsatirs

To be honest, I was tempted to say hello but given what had ensued at my house and the txts she sent me, I decided not to say anything...i didnt know how she will react...I also didnt want her to pretend in front of my mates...

After the show, I rushed down stairs to see if I could at least get close and see if she would ackowlegde me..in fact I wanted soo much to talk to her...but she was gone..her car was gone...

I went out wit my mates as they saw I was distressed and wouldnt want me driving home so we went out for drinks..

At approx 1am..I received this text from her..

Coward! you were so quick to drag ur mate into the building afte u checked it was me huh.....at least one of them had the decency to say helo..so tonite was the basis for ur pathetic emails, 2 yrs have culminated into tonite and so we've come full circle to the exact same event, ironic. At least now ive finally realised just how much of a dissapointment u r..thank you..
I am not being sacarsctic, just almost cant believe what happenedbut only almost and dont worry I wont bother u again..

I responded at 5am saying there was nothing cowardly bout me, I did what i felt she wanted and that my mates didnt know what was going on..

that she expected me to ackowledge her but I didnt and the reasons I did not do it..
I told her i looked for her after the show and did think of us....I said she woul neva bother me no mater what..

She replied sayin - looked for me after the show? yea rite, thought about us...after all u said? why? u just always contradict urself..I cant believe i wasted 2 yrs listening to it over and overdespite knowing deep down ..not even my birthday summed it up..uve shown ur true colors tonite...after everythingI dont even know why Im still suprised...disppointment..that aint half of it...Goodnite.

I responded saying...I am sorry everything I say or do falls short of ur expectations and sorry I continue to disppoint u...

This was sent on Saturday and its monday today,I just tried calling her and she wont pick up.


U know, I still have feelings for her but its beginning to wither and killing me off slowly..she has insulted, degraded me and made me feel this small....I still will want to rescue what we had....is it worth it? I just dont know....will really like to know the forums thoughts......please

?????????????

what conclusions and decisions have you come too about your girl friend are you going to call it quits or are you going to try and work it out.

Its ok

hi that was a long story.......but ya it sounds like "she" has a problem of letting go of tha past...well i gotta say that arguements happen no matter how extreem they will be..and ... will get crazy in life...but i think tha flowers was a nice way of showing that your ready to resolve the problem..but you could of went without the card and presents and took her out to eat maybe..

the best way i think you should do is to try to win her back if that truley what you want...try taking her out were it nice and peacefull...