help me please! dont know what to do!

my boyfriend and i had been together for 2 and a half years, we have been through so much and hes like my best friend aswell as my boyfriend, hes cheated on me a number of times, hes kissed a few girls, been texting other girls saying he loves them, wants to sleep with them etc and hes even slept with a guy.. and there just what i know for a fact! i suffer from very bad paranoia, depression and low self esteem and im constantly worried hes cheated/cheating on me. i cant seem to stop it! he says they all mean nothing but i cant help but think it does. am i not good enough? our past has been abit mad, ive had 2 abortions and weva split up i dont knwo how many times and its got to the point now where i dont even know what to do and ive even considered aking my life because of all the mess im in.
im 16 years old and hes 18, and ive got to the stage now where i dont knw wether to just leave him for good, stay friends with him, nothing more or get back with him and fight to make it work which we always try. i lost all my mates thorugh being with him and i cant talk to my family, i used to spend all my time with him and hes the only one that knows everything about me, im scared of letting him go and im jealous he will find someone else. hes been really differnent lately and ive tried speaking to him but he doesnt seem to care anymore. i went to hospital last night as i thought of taking my life and he didnt even offer to come and support me, although were not together anymore we are still too close and he just left me and went out with his mates in their cars. am i asking for too much?
i dont think i can cope without him and im scared im going to do something stupid because of it. what shall i do? has anyone been in the same position? someone please help me!!!

You are worth so much more

It hurts so much to go through what you have / are going through. Regardless of what he has ever said about other people he has got involved with meaning nothing, you deserve so much more than this. It is hard to let someone go and when you do, I hope you will start to see that you definitely deserve to be treated better than that. You are so young and have your whole life to share with a man who really loves you for who you are. Whatever happened to make your self esteem fall is in the past. Start to see what you are worth. As soon as you realise one positive thing about yourself, write it in a notebook and keep it close. Add to it every time you find another positive and that list will stack up. The thing is, each and every one of us is unique... no-one else has quite the same view of life as you and collection of good qualities as you. There will be someone out there for you who will treat you with respect and be faithful. The secret to finding him is ... that good old cliche ... learning to love yourself - and that isn't in a holier than thou way, it's about appreciating and respecting yourself. Please, make the decision now to do that. And maybe it's time to meet some new friends who don't know about the influence he has had on your life.
Take care

Dump him!

You should dump him and work on yourself before getting into another relationship. If you can't love yourself, you can't love someone else. This guy sounds like he's on the way out anyway, don't give him the satisfaction, you should dump him for cheating on you and coming up with the sorry excuse "they mean nothing to me". That's a crock! But before you get into another relationship you need to so some serious soul searching otherwise you are destined to carry all your old baggage with you.
Do what everyone else is saying and lean on your girlfriends!
Good Luck

Get out get out!

he's definately not worth it, if he keeps cheating he definately doesnt respect you or feel the same way as you do about him. dont waste your life with someone like that, i know its so much easier said then done but go out with your friends who were there before him and explain the situation, im sure they deep down still care a lot about you and wouldnt want to see you screwed over by this guy. hes not worth it.

Hey

Hi, if it helps, I can totally relate to your problem. In fact I just got out of a relationship after feeling trapped for 6 monthes. Anyway, some tips, i learnt from my experience is.

Your only 16, when you go to college or move on. Your go through a number of guys good and bad. But this relationship has totally sucked the living out of you.
You don't realise but when their gone and out of your life. Its amazing, like a bad sad at first because your in despair but so what.

Forcus on what you want now !.
You dont need a guy to make things happen
You need to believe in yourself
Because this guy obviousley doesnt believe in you, probably doesnt even like you.
I think if i was you, I rather be around people who like me.

If you think he knows u, then he doesnt. I swear i laugh at every guy that thinks he "knows me".

Leave the cheater

Hi emma,

I think you are being too childish and stupid here. You know he has been constantly cheating on you and still you want to be with him. You are just 16 and i dont think your going to marry him or like that. So just leave him right now and start with a new fresh life where you can have lots of "just friends" and try to talk to your family. Family always stands by you. And dear 2 abortions , are you mad or what. Be crystal clear now and stop all this. Do something to make your carrier.

I hope you get out of this ... as early as possible.

Bin it!

ditch the ass! reason he's treated you like this is cos you have let him. forgive once, yes maybe, depends on the guy and situation. but as he just hasnt changed, he's not sorry, to say they mean nothing is a mans excuse. he's not your best friend, is this how a best friend behaves? you wont ever start to feel better unless you break it off and concentrate on yourself. you just think you cant live with out him cos of the way your feeling, and he's using this to do as he pleases.
go see your gp, your depressed and you need some help.
you should try talking to your mates and tell them your sorry that you dropped them of. if they were good mates they will welcome you back, they are what you need right now.
if you decide do ditch him, under no circumstances take him back. good luck

Leave him and do not turn back

Hi, just read your note.
You are not on your own and I am sure there are many women and men out there who will agree. You are a young girl and should be out there having fun not crying over a man who from what you have wrote is really not worth it. I was in a relationship for 6 years and was getting married, chose the dress and everything, my boyfriend suddenly 6 months before the wedding left me as he said he did not love me anymore. Turned out he had met somebody else. This was nearly 3 years ago now (i'm 31) at the time I thought my world had ended, my life had envolved around this person for 6 years, I did not know what to do, could not eat, sleep or anything. But I got through it, I had too as there was no choice, I went out with my friends, went away, holiday, spent time with my family, cried lot's and lot's every night in bed but I got over it and shortly after realised I was not happy in the relationship either, I was comfortable but I was bored but was used to having him around, he did the right thing by ending thing's before we got married. You said you cannot cope without him, you can as life with him in it is not that nice, you cry, feel crap about yourself and are parnoid all the time which to be truthful you have all rights too after the way he has treat you, but life without him can only be better then with him. Yes you'll cry, you'll miss him but you'll fine youself and be able to start living your life again and lauging and having fun. You are far to young to be waiting time crying over a man who. I would advise to totally cut your ties, delete numbers, facebook if you are on there, avois any way of contact at all, get out with your friends and family, even book a holiday, get to a gym and just enjoy yourself, even if you spend some time on your own that is good. Just do not turn back if you walk away as you will just be tempted to go back. Put yourself first