Stealing wife!!

hi there peeps, my wife has been using this site a lot lately and seems like a great place to get some help!!

so we are the usual young family with the typical money problems etc,

last week when i was looking for one of my old jumpers i happen to find a tin which had a wad of cash in it, well maybe not a wad but after i counted it there was £150 i think, bearing in mind that our rent hadnt been paid from the last week and other bills were due to be paid...

so rather then fly off the handle about this i just kept it to myself and thought id keep an eye on how much was added and when,

obviously i quizzed the wife on when the rent was due and had she paid it etc etc, it was the usual 'oh ill sort it out'

sorry maybe i should just explain our situation first, im a self-employed builder and make reasonable money, (due to working about 70-80 hrs a week) as i work so much i dont possible have the time to sort out bills etc,

so when i started lookin into our financial situation i realised that things were not quite what i had hoped for , yep u guessed it, cash maching withdrawls left right and centre, (thank god for internet banking and wife leaving pin number for our joint acc lying around)!!!!! not far from the computer i might add!!

so i call her in and ask her calmly 'wheres all this money gone love'
her reply .... 'oh , oh, um i dunno'

hmmmm, so i carry on as per normal,

half hour later shes goin out with the kids (as planned) and i thought i know, ill check the tin, which by the way was up to £270 within a week of me first finding it!!! and to my shock ( not ) the money had gone!!!!!!

i was convinced that the money was being stashed away for her girly holiday that was coming up in the near future , so after i found that the money had disappeared i phoned her up and asked where the money tthat u were hiding in the tin was, and she said 'what money', eliminating the possibility that it was someone elses that maybe she was looking after , so i hung up.

she text me shortly after saying that it was for rent and that she just hadnt got around to payin it yet!!

what the hell am i supposed to do now peeps, im really not sure what to do about this one!!!
thanx for your time and advise, az

Stealing wife

I obviously see you have several problems, but apart from your wife's "shall we say Borrowing Habits" and the normal financial ones are you otherwise in a happy relationship?

If so, and I assume then you want to save your relationship, my feeling is that you want to take the "Candy" off the shelf.

I know it's hard but after doing all those working hours but you've got to share the financial chores. I agree with Rachael, get a separate bank accounts ( take advantage of the ones that give you 6% on your current account ) set up standard orders/direct debits for rent, fuels, insurances etc including an allowance for your wife. Try (I know it's difficult) to make sure you pay off your credit card, using one that you earn points on.

If it was me with a wife (who was otherwise loving), I would say what's happened has happened and this is what you propose to rectify your lack of financial involvement . If she refuses, then you may have to review your situation.

Best of luck.

Sh*t

Thats REALLY not good - I think you have been very calm about the whole thing....
That is a dreadfull thing to do to the person your with - let alone doing that to anyone - She obviously knows how hard you work, but is yet thinking of it for her own gain,
This behaviour is disgusting if I am honest - I would not stand for that ...
I dont know what your planning to do - would it be grounds to break up - as she is so untrustworthy - or maybe now she has been caught out it may have shocked her & she has stopped ... But maybe if you let her get away with it she will do it again cos she thinks she can
If you stay with her - I think you need to set up a seperate bank account that she cant get her hands on

Good luck