Months of confusion.. help!

Hi

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 4 and a half years now, and have probably spent the past 6 months feeling confused and unhappy.. I have been completely uninterested in sex with him (to the point now where we haven't had sex for over a month), I used to be quite an affectionate person, but I'm not at all towards him now, I am not ashamed of my body, but prefer to not let him see me naked anymore in case he takes it as a hint for sex, and to be honset I get bored of his company if we spend a whole weekend together. I do like my own space, and always have, and I am quite independent, but this has always been the case since before I met him, and I can't see how this would have an effect on our relationship.

I did bring up the issue of my unhappiness a few months ago, and eventhough I would never want to hurt his feelings, I was honest about not wanting sex, not finding him as attractive as I used to, and feeling bored. He did say that he knew I was unhappy, and should have done something about it, but didn't. We did both discuss any issues we had and tried to be proactive by deciding what we both need to do to make it better, but this only improved things a little for about a month.
I understand relationships are not always happy, douncy and fun loving, but I am only in my mid 20's and completely did not expect to be feeling like this whilst in a relationship now.. I don't really have anyone to turn to for advice anymore, and I did try talking to my mum about it a few months ago, but she just got upset when I said I wasn't sure if being in this relationship anymore was the best thing for me. I have touched on the subject with a few friends, but I wouldn't want to go into too much depth about it because a lot of them are good friends with both me and my partner.

I have never been in a relationship for this length of time before, but please don't tell me it is normal to feel like this after only 4 and a half years?? I do not have any drive to marry this man or have children with him, and I don't know if that's because I might never want either of those with anybody, or if it's because we're not right together anymore, but it is confusing being with someone who I used to have fun with and was happy with, to not knowing what I want from the future, and feeling unsatisfied.

I would be extremely grateful for any advie from anyone, as I feel this is tearing me apart right now.

Hi

Its funny, i joined this website to just talk with someone. To talk about those things i would never dream of sharing with those who know me. I didn't think about others feeling the same way and going through very similar emotions. Except fo rme its slightly different.
My wife and i have been married for 10 years and she now feels nothing for me.
Sure she loves me as dad to our 2 kids but is struggling to fins anything more.
Its complicated and i won't want to bore you but i thought you might like to talk to someone who is at the opposite end of what you are feeling.
I wont be offended if you don't but it helps me just to share something with someone.

You already know

i think you already know what you should do. You dont find him attractive anymore and you cant envisage a future with him.
Maybe you need to be on your own for a while to figure out what you want, if you stay it will only get worse.

hope this helps

20/20

Steve; The same has happened to me after 30 years, she feels we are like brother and sister, which in parts of the USA might be acceptable!


You have to say 'goodbye' and move on it happens every day to someone. Leave today? You know this so why ask us?

Good Luck