My ex !

When i was 18 my sister passed away and i met my ex he was lovely to me and always supported me no matter what we were together 5months but i really fell in love with him he was my first love not the first person id been with but the one i fell for, 5months gos by and he tells me its over i took it really bad, but it was weird he was still coming round and staying over and telling me he loved me it was like i was somewhere to go when he got bored at home then he got with a girl ive never gotten on with and shes had his baby and it makes me so sad i quite offer think what if that was me, but she doesnt like me and i know why i think she knows about the times ive been with him behind her back! i know its wrong but i couldnt help myself im madly in love with him and i see him and her and their baby all the time considering we love on the same estate and i honestly wish i was here but all my friends say shes jealous because shes stuck in with a baby and im out clubbing and shes jealous of mine and his realtionship because we're still close, but i know even if i told him how i feel he wouldnt leave her because of their child and it makes me wonder does he really care about me ? i really want him back and dont know what to do help ... xx

You're not going to catch someone's eye when you're too busy looking at him.

You need to consider what each person is getting out of this set up. You get a guy who occasionally shows you commitment, but who isn't actually giving you that commitment. The woman with his child is getting a deceitful relationship when she should be getting support from him as a father to the child. He gets two women, both competing for his affection and not one of you has slapped his wrists for it.
This guy has supported you through a very difficult time in your life and he's a very good friend. But it sounds like you need to accept that as a partner he's not suitable. There's a child involved to consider and if there's a chance that they can have a complete family set up then you should allow yourself to take a step back.
Love is not a once in a life time opportunity and you deserve so much more than this guy. Sometimes its better to break your heart yourself in order to allow it to begin to heal and fall back in love with someone who's going to appreciate you more. How many guys have you not even considered because you're pinning your hopes on this one? It's not right that he plays with your emotions in this way, telling you it's over then telling you he loves you. If you absolutely must have him back... make him choose. Be assertive. The world doesn't work so that he can have who he wants when he wants. You need commitment and a stable love. I would either demand that he decides friends or relationship or find yourself a guy who wouldn't make you feel so insecure. You don't want to get another two years down the line and still be in the same situation, now is the time to start making a move and finding out where you stand. Don't waste any more time waiting for a decision to be made. Push him to make one now.
Good luck. x