I am ruining my relationship...

i dont know what to do...
im jealous and insecure and i know it, I try very hard to control it but its very difficult.
something happened today - nothing dramatic i just realized something,
basically ive been freaking out all week going to one of his best friends gf's baby shower, and ive been emotionally preparing for it for a while...so i was feeling all ready to go this morning, and then he decides hes not going to go (the guys are going too and then heading out for drinks while the girls do their thing).
I feel relieved...I have no idea why....then we find out its actually at a later time in the day and he thinks okay maybe he can go after all...this makes me feel insecure, anxious to the point that now i dont want to go...so now im waiting while he sleeps a little longer...
i dont know if its just the anxiety from switching our plans back and forth or if i really just dont want to go with him...

we have so much fun on our own....i guess i just feel like hes a totally different person with his friends - not in a bad way, i guess im just not used to it...

and i try to control my emotions because he is amazing, so kind, loving, understanding - we've been through a lot together - he supports me no matter what...

im trying so hard but sometimes i just get so sick of trying...and when i get these feelings i cause fights so we dont go anywhere....

Me too!!

Hey!

I can really relate to how you feel because i often feel the same way too!!

I met my bf at uni and we had a great first few months together, then he decided he didnt like uni anymore and dropped out. After a summer of tears and wondering how we'd make things work i made the decision to transfer to a uni nearer to where he lives. Anyway long story short he now lives with me and my 2 friends. I told him he had to get a job if he wanted to live with me and he did. But now im jealous because hes made some great new friends and i feel he sees them as more fun than me.

I feel the same as you about how different he is round his friends. I dont like it when he goes out with his friends and he doesnt just like hanging round with a bunch of girls ( which is fair), so like we you we just seem to stay in and go no where because we cant agree on what to do.

All i can say is, as i have been trying to do, is that no matter how hard it feels and no matter how much your stomach does that crazy thing you have just got to get on with it. I think its just just an insecurity, i'll admit that im jealous of some of the girls he works with so is it something like that that makes you feel insecure, the fact that a lot of his friends gf friends will be there?
I always say to my bf that he turns into a very blokey bloke when he is with his friends but im a very girly flirty girl when im with my friends so we are evens!!

At the end of the day, you love each other and he sounds like a really fab guy who understands you. Try and focus on the positives and the more you just get on with it the easier it will become

Hi

are you very shy? suffer with depression or anxiety? I know when I was at my worst with depression I just couldn't face going out anywhere, just wanted to be with my boyfriend 24/7.
Sometimes people act differently when they are with their friends, you just have to love him no matter what.
It's healthy to spend time as a couple, go out in groups, and go out seperatly. If you can't do it, there is something wrong.

Hii

no but am fear