Don't think we're going anywhere

Hi. I'm new to all this, but thought I'd give it a go.
I've been seeing my boyf for two years now, it's not that I want to be engaged straight away, but the way he's acting, I don't think we'll ever be.

He is really anti-religion, which doesn't bother me and he had said he wouldn't want to get married in a church. This would be hard for me, really hard for me, but I would be flexible on that if it came to it.
Then it was "I don't want to get married at all" he didn't give any real explanation, just that he didn't ever really see himself getting married. He knows how much it means to me, so then he said "But sure we'll see what happens, maybe I'll change my mind" - this lead me to think that once he felt secure in our relationship and was sure that I was really there and in it, he might see himself getting married.
Then last week he made a comment along the lines of "I don't think Marriage is necessary" - I didn't really get this.
It now seems that the religion thing doesn't have anything to do with not wanting to get married.
I am so confused. We don't live together or have any children.
In conversation he said that if we ever had children, maybe then we'd get married. I said that I didn't want to get married because anyone believes I should, it would be about me and him and not just because we had children.
It got left at "If we're together, we'll do something that suits the both of us" He wouldn't discuss it any further. Ther was no arguing or raised voices. I don't want to think of my future without marriage. He knows this, but I still feel he is the one and I can't bring myself to walk away. He's 34 (35 in March) and I'm 24. I'm thinking future here, not right now. But if he isn't 'There' now, it doesn't look like he ever will be.

Help! (Sorry about the long winded rant)

Wake up call

Hi -

I am going to be pretty harsh with you in terms of honesty, however, it is in your best interest as this guy is plainly taking you for a ride.

He doesn't want to get married to you because he is a loser. He is coming on 35! 35! That is almost 40! Hello!? Secondly - babe - how in the hell did you wind up with someone almost 11 years your senior?

Look put it this way; if he wanted to marry you, he would declare so, he would have proposed. He is using you because you are his "young, hot, girlfriend" he has no intention of making you his wife because that would ruin the fantasy.

There is no future in it, you are lying to yourself because you believe he is 'the one', he isn't.

Secondly, how much do you really have in common? You don't share the same values, and yet you want to marry this guy? He won't marry you because he doesn't take you seriously, he cares for you but on a 'she's my bit of fluff' level.

You are correct; if he isn't there now at coming 35, then he never will be there. Men typically get married at 30-35 because they go through their ' I'm getting older and I'm still unwed' he isn't having any of those issues because your young age feeds his ego, my only concern is what happens when you age? We all do.

Ditch him now - you are wasting the best years of your life on chasing a fantasy.

If you don't share the same views and values - why are you even together? It just spells disaster.

Seriously - end it with him, go be 24 for awhile and you'll find real love when you aren't looking for it. Besides - come on! You are only 24! You have more than enough time to find someone else..someone that actually shares your values, unlike this pig-headed schmuk.

If he isn't 'there' now, at 34, he'll never be there. Move on and find something 'real'. He is using you. x x

Thank -you!

Thank-you! You are a Star! This is exactly what I needed to hear. The whole situation is driving me up the wall!
I just need to make a clean break. Not looking forward to it, but I've been telling myself thats what I need to do.
Thanks for the push