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No spark between us

 

Hi all,

I am really confused to what to do. My Oh and I been together for 5 years and we got a 3 year old son.

I love him but don't know if I am in love with him. It's like he is just a really close friend. To me because he don't like going out it's like I am so bored of him. I wish to myself he would just take me out or cook a meal for me at home. He not the romantic type and he does not show affection.

I just can't pretend anymore things are fine because it's certainly not. Don't get me wrong he is a nice guy and it's just today I realise I feel nothing he kissed and I didn't feel nothing. I suppose he is making an effore.

I have tried and tried and I think what upset me was the weekend we had this talk and he made it perfectly clear he was not going to change how he is and if I don't like it to go go. All I am asking is now and again we go out as a couple leave our son with family.

I think he is boring and I to him I'm boring aswell. We only just starting having sex as he didn't want it for nearly 2 years was but we have been then we stopped. It's me now who just can't be bothered.

Sounds really silly but I feel I need someone who shows affection. Kisses me and gives me a hug. Instead the when i get upset he turns it around on him. I know he runs his own business but I am under pressure in some many ways and it's getting to me.

He goes to work and thats it we are stuck in most weekend.

Help


 

Things have got worse i want to leave now

Hi all,

I really want to leave my boyfriend now but so scared of being on my own.
We have had financial issues which has causes so much stress on our relationship. He pays the bills so he was getting very stressed and he thinks that I don't care about the situation. I do but what can I do. I been looking for a job for ages now. I had a job sadly lost it at beginning of the year. So things have been hard I spoke to him telling him I didn't want this to affect us but he said he more worried about the financial mess we are in.
Plus a few weeks ago I got really upset as we not been getting on due to the financial situation and him being nasty so it all got to me. I felt down and my friend was meant to be coming up to visit me. I was thinking to myself I wonder if I should tell her to cancel etc. Anyway was telling him that I was thinking of tell her not to come as we were not getting on but he said because of financial issues tell her not to come. Then he was like I need friends around me and he don't. So to this point had recieved a message from my friend saying is it okay for her to still come to see me. I had to tell her not to come and was so upset after. He must of felt guilty as our son saw me sobbing my heart out. He said get her to come and or I will tell her to come. Then I just said no don't feel like her coming now felt so down.
Then Wednesday felt down again and then I realised I think it was down to me coming on my period I get like this every month. So just couldn't even get out of bed to get my lo dressed. He did get lo dressed and I couldn't talk to him as he would not understand so kept texting sounds silly but felt I couldn't talk to anyone just want to be locks away in my bed. So eventually I started talking to him and was crying again trying to explain and he was twisting everything I said. From then onwards my feelings have changed.
He is not the affectionate type all I need was a hug and for him to be supportive but he was not.
I think he has been emotional manipulating and controlling me for a very long time and I have not seen it. Feel a fool.
I personally have always felt I was never good enough for him but I started to realise I want someone more affectionate been thinking of past relationship or guy I use to know. I just want to feel loved. I just feel we communicate for our son and the house. Now he looked himself in his little room on his computer and I am sat him alone feel like I can't carry on like this no more. I have started to tell my mum and close friends how I am feeling and even my dad seems to be realising what he is like. I think deep down we both don't love each other anymore or I feel he never has. He just thinks he is here living with me I should feel lucky for that. Not going out just sitting in at weekends. He never goes out and our son gets funny if I want to take him park and daddy wants to stay at home he cries for him. I don't know what to do help


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