No sex life due to husband

I am really starting to get worried. My husband and I have been married alittle over 2 years. We use to have a great sex life when we were dating but now sex is a very rare thing. He claims its due to his weight gain and that contributes to him not being horny and not having a desire. I find that hard to believe when I am constantly finding porn and videos on his computer that he looks at at night when I am sleeping. I am starting to feel very inadequate and feel like he doesn't have any interest in me anymore. I have a high sex drive and it makes me feel hurt and deprived that he never has an interest. I don't know what to do. When I bring up the problem or the porn I have found on his pc he usually gets mad. I don't want to live a life with no sex and I really am hoping someone has some answers or ideas about this annoying situation. Its to the point that I get really upset when I find this smut on his pc. I have put on some weight since we got married but he claims the whole problem or whatever has nothing to do with me. I am really worried.

Seek some relationship counselling

I urge you to seek some relationship counselling - ask your husband if he would like to go with you, and don't fret if he refuses. Just accept it, and go on your own. You will be able to offload, and get some good advice. You will feel supported, and empowered. He may find your new assertiveness sexy!And also, if he knows you are going to counselling without him, he may eventually come out of curiosity - but it MUST be of his own volition.

Men often use porn as a visual aid, to masturbate to, as a 'needs must' type of thing. He sounds unhappy, or depressed. I know it makes you feel inadequate, but have you ever considered that he may feel he is not 'good enough' for you?
He married you because he loves you.He found you attractive, fell in love, committed himself to you, his gorgeous wife. Let me tell you - putting on weight is something that happens when you are content - yet, some people have a crisis about it.I probably weigh about 13 stones, and I am 5 feet 3 inches. I have an hourglass figure, though. I am heading for 50 years old. However, I do things to make me feel good. I do a belly dance class - it's really hard work, you isolate and work muscles you didnt know you had!!! I have a fiance who fancies me rotten - why? because I don't mind being a bit plump - I have big boobs, and I am soft, loving and feel sexy - I am sexy to him, and I still get many admiring glances because i feel good about myself. Do something to make you feel sexy again.It could be Belly dancing, Salsa, Art, or a sport - what floats your boat?
Ask your husband what he would like in bed, and whether you could watch the porn together - many couples find it a turn - on, and/ or useful for techniques etc. If you feel uncomfortable watching porn, then this would not be a good idea. But DO talk to a counsellor, and work through things together or alone - I am sure that he will join you eventually, if it seems like an attractive prospect, and not a threat.

Sorry to hear that and its not ok

I know exactly how you feel and it is soooooo hard to deal with it. I was in the same boat with a boy-friend after 10 months and it was so horrible, it paralyzed my mind. I am still not sure what it was, tried talking to him, I think its because they get too comfortable, the chase is over for them, its available easily if he wants it. He told me that the more you talk about it and ask for it, the less I want it. So, I saw the change after I focused on myself, became less available, stopped focusing on it, but let me tell you, the relationship didnt work out. I wish you the best, but be careful, what you need to be happy is really really important, and if you are not getting it now, what are the chances you will be happy like that in 10 years...things like that dont really get better with time and more communication, its hard to play this non-stop game in relationships...

Hi there

I feel exactly the same I have been married not even 1 year yet and my husband says he always tired or its to late,he never comes on to me,i always have to ask but now its getting to the point where i am sick of asking him,i have started to feel un attractive and insecure,if seems like he just dont want sex with me,i have a high sex drive too.Im all confused at the moment,i also have just got a huge mortgage about two months ago! everything seems more inportant than his wife..but if i talk to him or mention anything he gets mad or says i dont want to talk??

Please give me some advise someone

M.R

Hi

I had the same problem. He said he was tired as he works long hours but kept finding sites on the net and he'd also watched porn on sky etc in the end I've had to put a child lock on the internet and only I know the password, I've allowed sites us and the children can go into anything else would need a password. I've also put a pin number on the sky. Sounds like I'm treating him like a child but he's acting like one as he constantly denied this, so no need for the sites then so put a restriction on these (plus I'm not prepared to pay for slappers).

I felt so insecure, I even had breast enlargement, it has helped a bit but he's still tired and I can't help feeling I want to leave him, but I have kids and a whopping great mortgage

Men - grrrrr!

xxx

Is it babies?

Some men get teased that after about 2 years that babies will be next...or if you have babies already..more babies. no sex=no babies?
Have you talked about this?
h

Not that

We have no kids and I am on birthcontrol and have been for quite some time. We want kids but not right at this moment. I know it has nothing to do with that.