An oldie-sex after baby?

My baby is nearly five months old and me and my OH have had sex just once since she was born, this doesnt include before I had her which means in the whole year its been... once! Now i know its usually the woman who doesnt want sex after a baby, but im dying for some! My oh is completely not interested and he told me as much, The time we did it was only because I practically forced him, that makes it sound bad lol its not like that, but afterwards I wish I didnt bother as he was obviously not into it and basically I wont beat around the bush, it was crap and a total disappointment after so long. The thing is he said my body was 'different' of course I recently had a baby so its not going to be the same, but i worked hard lost my baby weight, did some 'intimate' exercises to make sure everythings in shape if you know what I mean. Im now like the same size as i was before i got pregnant, just with humungous boobs!

The problem is im breastfeeding so it feels weird for him to like play with them cos i think ewww thats my babys food! I got some hang ups about having sex with him, but even if we could just get some intimacy back it would be a good start, he doesnt hug me kiss me, nothing. he doesnt even kiss me goodbye now. How can I get some kind of spark back, something ANYTHING! I feel like some old married couple, im only 24 and hes older than me, hes 38 but still! I know the spark does go but I cant live forever like this, the only thing is we wont have any other kids cos we never have sex to concieve them!

Im worried about this

Ive just posted my own post about my body after having my son. That's what im so worried about my boyfriend says he loves me no matter what and he isn't bothered about stretch marks but im worried he's not gonna wanna have sex with me
x

Also my son is 4 months old today so our lil one's are not much apart in age congrats hun x

Sex after baby

Was he there at the birth? Its common for men to go of it when they see you go through all that. If it is just down to you breast feeding thats putting him off, could you consider bottle feeding? your baby's had a good start, i wouldnt feel guilty if it meant saving your marriage. Dont forget it takes time to adjust to having a baby, not just for us mums, but for dads also. Talk to him but dont put any pressure on him, agree to just hug for the time being, so he can relax, once he's relaxed with just hugging, hopefully things will move on gradually.

I think

we need to work on that, because we have no physical contact at all. I go to kiss and he pulls away from me, and he hasn't given me a hug in forever. He wasn't at the birth, so its not that. Im weaning the baby and when i do i think im going to give up breast feeding all together, yeah shes done ok so i dont feel guilty and I really want my body back to myself now. I havent approached him about sex at all for over a month, and he hasnt come to me either so obviously hes not interested in me. I know its not because I look repulsive, hes complimented me on how I look. There was only one time he said he felt like having sex but at the time I wasnt on any contraception and he refused to do it at all because hes convinced even if hes wearing 200 condoms im going to get pregnant! Maybe thats whats putting him off.

Give it time

Could be, maybe at 38 he doesnt want anymore children. Or now he's seen whats involved he's not keen to go through it all again. Had you discussed how many children you would like before you started a family?
I'll be honest it was me that went off it after our child, and i too avoided hugging an kissing because i thought he'd want more than that, and i couldnt give him more, which is why you have to say and promise that all you want right now is to hug an kiss, so he can relax. Its only been 5 months, it takes most couples a year before things get back to normal, only no one admits this!

Maybe not

he already has a son, i think hed like more but definitely not til shes older, because she can be hard work sometimes, not that he would know! Even me I want more but not now not for a good few years.

I admit for a month or so after i had no interest in sex, and all during my pregnancy I had no sex drive at all, but its not like I turned him down, whenever he initiated sex I gave it to him and even pretended to enjoy it lol. Its just about starting to come back. to be honest i dont know if i want sex or i just want some kind of intimacy back. We just seem to have none and it makes a big impact.

wow I didnt know that about 1 year, most people seemed to be at it a few months after the birth and there was me thinking we were the weird ones. Hes started actually kissing me more so its a good sign, maybe we are getting there slowly

Enjoy your new family

Sounds good, just dont put any pressure on each other, take time to enjoy your new family, having a baby is a huge change in a relationship, it takes time to adjust, dont compare yourselves to what others lead you to believe. all the best