Help! need to fend off a rival

My husband had an affair which was dominant submissive (she was the submissive) I want to ensure that he gets what he needs at home. I am not a natural submissive but have always been eager to try new things. We have done it a couple of times and I quite enjoyed it but he thinks I am ambivalent, are there any submissives out there who can tell me how this works and what I do as a submissive. Desperate to be No.1 for him again.

I agree

I'm sorry but I completely agree with Candydrop on this one. There is no nicer way to say it; you cannot expect respect from this man if you instinctively reward him for cheating on you. You remind me of a close friend of mine whose boyfriend was sleeping with another girl, and she decided that rather than admit he was a ... she should "compete" with the other girl and "prove she's better".

Another thing, don't you find it rather unnerving you actually *know* how they had this rendevouz? Did he tell you this afterwards as if he should brag about it? "Oh yeah she was submissive for me, unlike you babe because you're always dominant so that's why I did it"? I know it may seem like Candydrop and I are being unnecessarily cruel and absolute ... to you, but please be assured we are not. I have seen this happen so many times and the girl is "trying to fix everything" that she didn't break in the first place. You're not to blame for his deceit, so don't think that by being one of two women will make everything alright again.

I know that you must feel that he is your soul mate, otherwise you wouldn't be so eager to 'fend of a rival', but I certainly wouldn't put up with it from my partner and he knows I believe he's the one. Please, for your own sake, leave this pathetic scumbag because you deserve so much better. He won't leave her for you because in the eyes of a man, the only thing better than one woman is having two women.

I'm sorry for seeming unfair, but you'll feel better for it in the long-run if you leave now.

Ly x

Are you completely mad?

The above statement. Are you mad? Completely mad?

He CHEATED on you - you now are going to reward him with the same 'style of sex'. You are bonkers mad - I appreciate that you want to save your marriage but you are completely mad.

Why isn't he in the dog house? Why are writing like YOU did something wrong? Because he wasn't getting sleazy sex at home, his response was to get it else where?


I would also suggest that your husband has emotional issues if he always has to be in control in the bedroom .

Also - you are reading in to this all wrong - it isn't you - it is actually him - he should be trying hard to be YOUR no.1 again not vice versa. Stop bending over backwards and grow a back bone. I dislike having to be so harsh but I am trying to make you wake up and smell the coffee.

Oh and by the way, judging from the way you write; you are more than used to being submissive because he clearly dominates your entire relationship. HE CHEATED - he broke your heart. You do not reward him, you throw things at him, toss his clothes and belongings in the trash. Are you completely mad? Or do you truly lack self confidence? Has he made you feel so worthless that you feel the need to desperately please him, even after he has cheated on you and broke your heart. If that was me I would feel physically sick just looking at my partner - he would be out of my life immediately, if he betrayed me in any sense of the word.

I hate to tell you this; once a cheater..always a cheater.