Swinging

Hi all, I'm after some unbiased opinions and hopefully a little help as regards to the above.

My wife and I have been swinging for a couple of years on and off.

Basically, my wife doesn't want to see me with another girl and nor do I want to be with one. We just have met a few guys (I'm strai and had some fun.

When we meet someone and it goes very well, we have a great time and for a few days afterwards we have wonderful sex (which we normally do anyway).

But a couple of days later she gets hesitant and starts feeling guilty about it, especially when she has had a really good time. I have reassured her that it is why we do it, for her, and then me to have a good time.

A few weeks or a month goes by and then it all starts again and we have more fun.

During her guilty phases, she says that sometimes it doesn't sit easily on her mind about having sex with another guy, but she fantasises about it alot, and I mean alot, so do I. I want to know if anyone has any advice that would her her stop feeling guilty about it? as there is no need.

I know this isn't necessarily a common subject on this board and I'm sure I'll get some very negative responses about what we do.

I can't seem to explain to her that there needn't be any guilty feelings. We both like doing it and before anyone asks, we are happily married, we do talk alot and I'd just like to think that we can overcome this issue and for her, I don't know, maybe to relax a little more.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

Swinging????

All I can say about this is no matter how much of an open relationship you have the little green monster is always going rear its ugly head .Nobody wants to see or think about their partner with someone else.In the heat of the moment it feels good ,but its the time afterwards you should be thinking about ,if either partner is feeling guilty then they arent as open minded as they say they are are they ??????If you have a fantastic sex life anyway why spoil it ?I no we all like to push boundaries and try new things but if its having an effect on the relationship then dont do it .fantasies are what they say ,its when they comes to real life it causes problems ,trust me I know from experience ,hope this helps a little with your problem xxx

Hey

try fab swingers.com you can see peoples opinions on there and some let you know how they handle it

Good ....i need to get a male opinion

My husband and I are in a similar siuation at the moment and I have been trawling the internet to find someone I can get an opinion from on this.

I don't know if you would call it swinging or not but my husband and I have done a bit of swapping with other couples with the same outcome.... great sex lives of our own as well as with them. However I am being made to feel like a freak because this does it for me. Myself and the other woman involved are really into it but every time her husband and I have sex he reacts badly afterwards (i think he sees her doing the same as betrayal), ignoring her and generally treating her badly for a few days .... but it doesn't stop him approaching me again, and again knowing that my husband and her are having sex too.

My husband has said all along it's a real turn on for him and he doesn't mind me being with someone else as we figure it's better to be open about these things than have some sleazy affair for kicks ... no good has ever come of that ! Recently though when he has had a few drinks he's started getting quite nasty about it saying he has never agreed to it and that I am somehow being disloyal to him, he's even resorted to violent behaviour towards me(not something I am proud to admit).

I think it bothers him deep down and it only comes out when alcohol takes effect. I don't feel guilty, should I ? I ENJOY THIS. He has said all along he does too, until now. I am completely cool with him being with my friend, I trust her ... it's not as if they are planning on running away together, but I think my husband is insecure about our relationship now. Does he not realise that the way he's treating me is pushing me away.

Two weeks ago it got so bad I asked him to leave the house and now we can't even speak because he casts up anything I have done just to hurt me .... does he not realise he is just as guilty as I am ... I didn't resort to violence though. Will someone tell me where I'm going wrong. I know if he wants us to stop doing this then I should do so to keep my marriage together but is that what I really want? I don't know if this should be a cautionary tale that this type of thing ends badly ... but it doesn't have to does it ?

I see it as 'recreational sex', the same as I have with my husband. I don't love the guy - I lust him (as I still do my husband). It's the feel, the touch, the smell of someone else. Not knowing what comes next is a turn-on. Or am I kidding myself on that I'm doing this within a happy marriage ... am I deluding myself into that ... that I'm happy. If I loved him would I be doing this?

K

Hmmm

ok i have personaly never been involved in the swinging scean but heres what i think is happening. the reason she is feeling guilty is because she feels that everything being done is being done for her pleasure, which will likly make her feel selfish and therefore guilty. also the fact that you arnt activly sleeping with other women could make it feel more like cheeting to her and less like swinging. purhaps she feels bad because she knows she wouldnt like it if the roles were reversed.

essentialy you need to talk to her and find out exactly why shes feeling guilty. ive offtern found that the best way to help a woman to deal with her problem is to talk with her in depth about it. once you know exactly what the problem is you can take steps to fix it if needs be, but offtern jst talking about it will help a woman to get over it. at least thats my experiance

Thanks

for the replies, I'm still trying to work it all out slowly, but your imput has been helpful, so thanks again.

Plenty of swingers

There's a lot of people out there into the swinging and ... buddy scene you'll find many people who openly admit it at http://www.findmeafuckbuddy.com