Embarasing problem staying erect...

I saw a couple of similar posts, but I don't know if my situation is quite the same.

I'm 26 years old, and I just lost my virginity this past week. The first time I made love to my girl, I was terrified that I would finish too soon. I've always been very quick to become aroused, and I thought the anticipation would be my undoing. I was dead wrong. I lasted for an hour, and her and I finished at the same time! Later on, we had another round, and it intentionaly went much faster. (We didn't have much time left that night!) I was proud of my preformance, and found that I'm very good with my hands as well.

A few days later, she came back over, and we started playing again. I went out of my way to prepare. Whipped cream, cherries, massage oil, insence ... I was confident and excited. We toyed around for a while, and everything was going great. But when we started to have sex again, I lost my erection within just a few minutes! I can't imagine anything more embarassing! She said it was alright, that she got off just fine from my hands, but I could tell that she was dissapointed that she couldn't get me off. I'm very attracted to her, and I'm excited as hell when we start, but then I just go limp. I thought of tons of excuses: I hadn't slept much lately, the video camera made me nervous (did I mention that part?), I had my erection too long during foreplay, exhaustion, anxiety, different condom, anything! I feel inadaquate now, and we've tried a couple of times since, but the same thing keeps happening. I can't stay hard long enough to come! I think I've psyched myself out into a downward spiral of poor preformance and embarassment.

I apologize for the lengthy post, but I'm really worried. All I want is to please her, and if my inability to finish makes her feel bad, then I want to stay hard long enough to make her feel she's done her job. Does anyone have any advice? I'm utterly humiliated; please help!

It's all in your head

Psychologically, I mean. You simply had a moment of uncertainty and lost your edge. It definitely does happen to other men (it's happened to me in a couple relationships). The problem is, after the first time it happens, you feel out of control, nervous and anxious, so it keeps happening. You need to find out how you can regain your confidence. Sometimes that means playing around without promises of coital sex or orgasm (takes the pressure off), sometimes just talking with your mate helps everything, and other times you need to keep your mind off it completely for a while and figure yourself out.

I can tell you one thing; Stop thinking about pleasing her. You need to think about pleasing yourself first and foremost, at least for the time being. Even if she doesn't have as much fun as she "could" (by whatever standard you are holding yourself to), that will put you back in the driving seat.

Ignore the stop trying to please her advice!

you sound like a decent chap and wanting to please your woman is a good quality..as i'm sure she's trying to please you too..it's all about give and take!

i think it's possibly just a little stage fright..the fear of it happening..don't worry about it, you will soon feel totally relaxed with her..even enough to laugh or ignore it if it occassionally happens and it does to most hun.

relax and enjoy your new relationship, it should be fun and not a constant worry..after all if she was just after something stiff to jump on a mere vibrator would do the trick. she likes you as a person not just a super-stud!

take care and enjoy