Cynical about marriage

Hi all, I'm coming up 25 this year and the older I get, the more I think that marriage just isn't for me... there seems so much social pressure (and sometimes from family too) to "settle down" and all that... but why should I? I'm really happy for all those people who find "the one" and have a happy life together "til death them do part" but I can't help but being cynical with all the high divorce rates, number of people cheating on each other, etc, etc. Is there anyone else who feels that marriage just doesn't seem to "work" any more?

I'm not quite sure why I'm writing this: whether it's in the hope of loads of you telling me you understand me or telling me I'm wrong and that there's hope of everlasting love!

Hi,

I was exactly like you, couldn't see the point of marriage and felt it was an outdated concept with no relevance to me whatsoever. I was brought up with quite varied examples around me, my real dad left my mom for another woman when me and my brother were really little but remarried when I was 6. Her marriage to my step-dad has never seemed that good to me, they rub along ok but not sure either of them has ever really been happy. My grandparents (who I've always been very close to) are the total opposite, really close and obviously still in love after 60-odd years together so have seen it from both sides. At your age (I'm 33 now) I never envisaged myself getting married and wasn't even sure I'd ever settle down, same sort of reasons as you, how many people seem to cheat etc. and was honestly quite happy being single. You probably know what's coming but.... then I met my husband. We've been together nearly 7 years now, married 3 and a half and I really believe it is 'til death do us part'. Think what I'm trying to say is that it's ok to be cynical and you shouldn't allow social pressure to make you feel like a freak if it's not what you want but how you feel now might not be how you feel in the future and there's no reason to make decisions right now about what might or might not be 'for you'. I think the most important thing is to be happy with yourself, whatever other people make of your life choices and if not settling down is what makes you happy now then that's no-one elses' business. Having said that I do think there is hope of everlasting love and in any case why close yourself off to any of lifes possibilities? Be happy,

love, Clare xxx

Makes me feel better!

Hi Clare, that was really nice to read! I have hope restored now in the whole concept of marriage! You're right though about being happy with yourself and not closing off to possibilities. "Never say never" I guess! Thanks for sharing your thoughts xxx