No proposal... ever!

hiya girls, ive been with my boyfriend for nearly two years and we live together in a cute rented flat. thing is i really feel that i need too get married, maybe not right now but certainly in the soon coming years. when my bf and i have spoken hes admitted that he doesnt want to get married. i really dont know what to do, i dont want to go on at him then have him propose just to shut me up, i want him to propose for all the right reasons. but how long should i wait? i was wondering if any of you guys had been in a similar situation? i just cant imagine never ever getting married, im 29 now so im no teenager.

The real reason

Hi,

You say you feel the need to get married but you don't say that you feel the need to marry him. I would take a step back and see is it that you are in love with the idea of being married or you are so in love with him that you want to marry him. I was your age when I married my first husband and it had a lot to do with the fact that I felt as though I should have been married by that age. I was so worried what people would think if I turned 30 and wasn't married yet that I ended up getting married to someone that happened to be there. It turned out really badly and we were divorced in less than a year. I learned that I was able to be happy by myself and that being married wasn't what I really wanted at the time.

After that experience I always said I would never get married again. I've alway been the type that I don't like being tied down by anything and didn't want to have to consider someone else before I made a decision. Then I met my fiance and things changed for me. Definitely not over night and I even turned down his proposal the first time because I knew I wasn't ready. We even had to postpone our wedding because I just couldn't do it at that time. We are now getting married in 3 weeks and I do love him very much and we have an excellent relationship but really I'd be okay if we didn't get married and just kept things the way they are. I do know though how important getting married is and I do see us staying together so I'm willing to get married. It took me a long time though to even be able to say that.

Sorry for the book...haha...but I think you should figure out why you want to get married and if he doesn't want to get married you have to accept that. Then you need to decide if you want to stay with him knowing that you may not get married or is there someone else out there that wants the same things as you do.

Hiya

i was in that sit'n before dear, tho' in my side i really don't feel the need & the rush of getting marry yet but it just come unexpectedly..When me & my hubby was on the beginning of our relationship he told me that he's never meant to get marry and he doesn't believe in marriage,believe me, i had a hard time with him for more than a year,we kept breaking up and we had a rough road along our way tho' we never had 3rd party issues it's just some things he needs to fix with himself , by then i just goes on with the riverflows as i tried my very best to understand and be more supportive with him until i get fed up of waiting that maybe 1 day he'll change his mind and he might porpose to me..Then one day, I just woke up and the wind blows differently,everything turn into fairy tale suddently he proposed to me real Unexpectedly! i'd never imagine that he'll ask my hand for a marriage & i was totaly shocked cuz i can still remember those times were he told me that he will never get marry and will never wear wedding ring..Then 1 day he proposed to me and It's like my life suddently changed just like that..I couldn't express my feelings when he proposed to me as i had mixed emotions up to now Moreover,were getting marry soon. .Anyway,It's just an experience of mine hope you can relate somehow,I'm not saying you should wait for the long run either, the thing is we should expect the unexpected ,If one thing is really meant for you then it'll come in your way smoothly, We all have diff. paths in life and there's always something for us that we deserve,everything comes in the right time,remember patience is a virtue..g'luck..