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I am
Me and my partner are getting married next year. We have decided to go abroad as we don't want the hassel of who do we invite to the day and who do we leave to the evening etc... and the risk of offending anybody. We are only inviting my parents, partners parents and partners sister and B.I.L. We will have a party when we get back, but now I can have whoever without feeling bad about leaving people out. My best friend is getting married in August and it started nicly then people started getting theri invites and moaning that they were only invited to the eve when such snd such were invited to the day. Too much stress and worry for me I want to love my day and not have to worry if everone is ok.
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What else is there to celebrate/look forwrd to?
I agree that marriage is not needed for a happy fufilling life together however the way i see it is that these days people are so caught up in work and a thousand other things and there are often no excuses to come together and celebrate.
A wedding to me is a wonderful opportunity to bring all the people you love and care about together and spend a happy few hours together. It;s a time when everyone leaves their worries and other commitments at the door and concentrates on family and friends.
As for the money etc, i know it can be a pretty expensive day however for me personally i save money every month, i give to charity and i pay my bills. If my fiance and i chose to spend some of our hard earned cash celebrating having found one another and celebrating the others we love then i think that's a good thing. Money will do us no good when we are dead and the excitment and commitment required in planning a wedding has made us spend time together, talking and makind decisions. Our families are excited and looking forward to the day.
My wedding is bringing many smiles in a difficult times, that for me is reason enough.
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Reasons for getting married:from a christians prospective
The only relation ship that God recognizes out side of the womens family is that of a husband and a wife.
I find it very funny that society has a tendancy to tumb there nose at the "old fashion" institution of marriage. But you want to apply the princepals of marriage to your boy friends. How is it cheating when you don't have any leagal or spiritual grounds to levy that charge against him. A boyfriend is what my late aunt, Brenda, used to call a much-right-man. What that means is that Susan down the street has just as much right to him and his person as you do. But when you marry you have made a covenant with God and the Holy Spirit is the Enforcer. It doesn't stop a person from cheating but you do have some spritual backup. I'm not altogether sure about the laws conserning marriage in the UK; but here in the USA if your with a person for a long time and he dies. What ever he has goes to his next of kin. Unless his family is really nice and includes you in on every thing,you don't have the right to assert any authority unless he made a will before he did apointing the task to you. That piece of paper is like an insurance policy with in it self.
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Till death you do part?
Religion amuses me , I laugh out loud at how many people fall for this!
Marriage is Spiritual Insurance..so if your husband cheats on you..you must forgive him, and he does it again and you forgive him...brilliant a charter for infidelity.(because only until death can you part).he doesn't fear he will burn in hell because he truly repents..great...sorry what are you saying..this is better?
Its a male- written female oppressive set of rules.
If you want a financial arrangement , non-church marriage can be that insurance policy or beter still make joint arrangemants and stay financialy independant. (P.s. I'm married but not religiously)
H
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Its up to individuals
Its up to individuals. Everybody is not the same.
For me I got married October last year, it was the best day of my life. Im a shy person so being the centre of attention is not my idea of fun, but when the day came I loved every moment of it I wasnt nervous at the church, I thought I would be a wreak but I knew I was going to be married to the man that I love and it was just wonderful. I love being married. It was the best decision I could have made. We are in no debts because we set the wedding date in plenty time so we could save the money without lending or relying on anybody and for wedding presents we received gift vouchers & money.
We didnt go on a honeymoon because I had an accident and could go away but we had a romantic meal and a night out which was just as good. All we wanted was to be together.
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Weddings
were getting married because of the obvious we love each other blah blah but we want to make it a special day where not just us but all of our family can celibrate and shre the experience , we have to daughters to who i want to share it with , i would bitterly regret not getting married i suppose its tradition and my parents are still happily wed after 40 years , it sounds so much better to say my huspand rather than my boyfriend or my partner its just the icening on the cake i think , and i suppose at the end of the day its up to each pearson , and as for the family and money we apyed for it ourselves at the end of the day we choose to get married i wouldnt expect other people to pay for it .x
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For the kids
I think the main reason is so that the children have the same names as both mum and dad, it gives a real family feel. And its a special day and a lovelly album to have with a great memory. Im not married but i belive one day i will be and i look forward to being a wife. 
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Reply to reasons for getting married
getting married means that you are professing your love for one another in front of the people who know and love you. it doesn't always have to be a financial hell for the parents. you quite often come out alot richer afterwards. you could ask that people give kind gestures of money rather than gifts, you'll at least get a third of the money that you spent back. i know i did. i got married two weeks ago. no i did not have a simple wedding because i married an italian and they for some reason do not do anything small and intimate. ever seen big fat greek wedding? thats what i went through! ha ha ha
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Angry parents & family
Thought I would just tell you what news we have heard tonight! My son aged 24 split up with his two year girlfriend a few months ago.
Just bought a new flat,announced he was then going to Egypt with "guess who" yes, you guessed it the old girlfiend. Been back one week we got told by a complete outsider who saw the girlfriend in the pub tonight, parading an engagement ring that she is to marry my son in a weeks time in Barbardos!!
Have you ever heard anything so ridiculousl after the life she put my son through previous to the splitup and during. He has not told us a thing. Myself and my daughter aged 23 are furious, but cannot speak to my son as he is away till tomorrow. Any ideas what we can do or say........ we feel like murdering the girl.
I am just hoping this is not all true and it will go away. Let me know what you think or anyone else for that matter. Thanks
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Haha
haha, you sound like my boyfriend. if yoou want it like that, i suggest the whole wedding in vegas thing, or just by a judge or something.
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It's not for the party
A marriage is not about the party after, when you marry just on account of the party then you do something wrong. Marrige is about love and be chained for the rest of our lives.
Being marriged is not 'making it official' it's about spending the rest of your live wiht another person you totally love and the marriage is just to make things easier like when something happens, that you recieve information or you can also decide what's going on and not just other familymembers.
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Hi
But you can spend the rest of your life with someone you love without being married, the commitment comes from yourself. I agree about making things easier with regards to papers, benefits, wills etc etc, especially if children are involved.
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....hummmm!!!
Hi, i'm a french girl, so sorry for every mistakes i could do!
so, are you in this situation? do you want to get married?
when i was a bit younger, i wanted to marry my boyfriend, but now with life experience, i don't know anymore. Yes, i agree with you it's just a piece of paper, but i think it's also to have the same lastname as you boyfriend, (for a girl it's important) and if you want to have somme child, maybe you want that your chlidren have the same name as you!(i'm not sure about orthography)
it's a kind of principle....well...
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Some people get married because
they love each other and want to show their family and friends how committed they are to each other!?
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A personal choice
Ultimately, it's up to the individuals what they want to do. I can see your points and I do think that people rush into marriage too much these days because it is so easy to get out of. I thought about a dozen times in my 20s that I wanted to marry whoever I was seeing. But I'm glad I waited! I met my husband and within three weeks knew he was the one for me. We've been married for two years now. Together 5. You have to work at a marriage today and not throw in the towel when the going gets tough.
I wanted to show to all my family and friends how much I love my husband, I wanted them to share a special day with me. It wasnt about taking his name, the dress, or the party...it was showing my commitment to him for the rest of my life.
People can be cynical about marriage and that's a thing. It makes us more wary and not quite so keen to rush into things.
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I used to think the same thing....
I used to think that it was just a paper also. I lived with my husband for 3 years before we got married, we just ended up having a small wedding with family and a few friends at the courthouse. We both agree that even though we were just as committed to each other before we were married, something happened spiritually, or something, when we got married it felt completely different for us. We've been happily married now for almost 14 years.
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That's lovely!
I've always though that it was just your signature on a piece of paper too, but I recently had the same feeling, that it was the right time to ask my boyfriend to marry me. (see my other thread, advice needed!)
Something has just changed and I really want to do it, I've had a change of heart almost overnight.
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Maybe that's the key...
If you're ready you may have a change of heart. Maybe some people who feel it is just a piece of paper, in fact are just really not ready?
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Not ready...
I could never imagine getting married... then one day it wasn't terrifying at all. Got married at 34 (hubby is 5 years younger). Very Happy. I would have been divorced if I had got married younger (or to any of my other previous serious boyfriends!)
Marriage was very important to my husband. To him is was a serious commitment that he did not embark on lightly. When he asked me it touched me greatly because I knew how seriously he views it. To me it meant that we both wer committed. I still keep my own name (I've lived with it and loved it for decades, and it is a link to my heritage - its too much to ask for me to give it up now!)
We also had a great party! It wasn't expensive, we paid for it ourselves (got married outside at a very relaxed/country golf course, had the reception/dancing in their function room, and had an open bar til late). We love throwing parties so it was great to have a chance to show everyone a good time! So none of this years of debt nonsense for one night - and everyone had fun.
The only thing we didn't really do was honeymoon... my family came from overseas before the wedding to visit etc. so we had no time off left... one day we'll have a nice one!
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People are so ignorant
well i think that you all just don't know what gettiing married acually means and i also think that if you don't have God in your relationship that it don't need to be anyways. I'm sorry ,but I'm getting married in three months and I'm very excited. And yeah, it may just be a piece of paper to some people ,but if you think that then you sure are not ready to get married!!! Just my opinion! I just turned 18 and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life with my man of almost 2 yrs and
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