I carnt forget.....please help....

My boyfriend told me that hed slept with someone a few years ago when we wernt living together, we had a long distance relationship so we never saw each other that much but i did still think it was serious and that we were extremley close,
me and my boyfriend have lived together for 2 years now and are truly seroius im really in love but he told me he slept with someone after all this time and i have told him ill stay with him because ilove him and we have something special but the thing is i carnt stop thinking about it, i get all these images in my head of him and her and i just cry like all the time he knows im upset but doesent do much, i dont know what to do, he was mine and she slept with him, i carnt forget, im usually a happy person but this had totally changed me, im 19 and we met when i was 15 and he is a bit older and because i was so young my parents never let me have a boyfriend, so i had to keep it a secret, we met on holiday and we lived in different towns in england so that how the relationship was distant, he treated me so nice when we met but he got jeleous a lot so he didnt like me going out with my firends, so at that age i turned my phone off and just went out with them to avoid the arguments,and turned it back on the next day, and on one of these occasions he said this was why he cheated, he said he didnt know were i was and a girl comforted him and he ended up sleeping with her, the thing is when i turned my phone off it wasnt for the reasons he thaught, i just wanted to go shopping with my friends or get drunk in the park with a bottle of cider or go to a sleepover, it wasnt coz i was sleeping with guys n stuff, i wasnt interested in anything like that, i was a virgin when i met my boyfriend and hes been the only one ever, and thats one of the reasons that it makes me so sad and angry, he said he's only slept with her but he had a photo of her, i dont think you give people photos that you only had a one night stand with so i think theres more to it, but hes promised me there isnt, and when he told me he'd cheated he was very drunk, and he said he still loves her and loads of other stuff like he misses her, i felt like killing myself, honestly, it really hurt, but the next day he said it was all lies and he promised he didnt mean it when he said he loved or missed her, but what he said scarred me, hearing the words ''i still love her'' coming out of his mouth hurt soo much, i have decided i will stay wit him but i just feel so lonley and upset and unloved all the time, i moved away from my family to live with him, i have no friends, just him, so i go crazy when im alone i hate it so much, i just want advice i guess and just wanted to get it of my chest because i have no one to talk to

Here goes

You have to be positive about the situation,you have decided to stay with him,so the focus must be solving your issues and being positive.Switching the phone off which drove him into the arms of another woman,was just him justifying why he did it,men need to shift blame when they have done wrong.You need to plan an evening with no crying and getting upset,where you can ask the necessary questions ,1. Does he have feelings for someone else2.Does he want a future with you. If he does then you have to put the past mistakes behind you and concentrate on improving what you have.You also need to get a life where you are living now,and ease the dependance on him a little,when you make someone your whole world,it's a responsibility,which can cause a lot of pressure on the other person,maybe joining a club or doing some activity ,finding a job if you don't already work.As for feeling unloved, if he isn't giving you what you need then maybe it is time to move on ,or this maybe a consequence of what is going on at the moment,whatever the reason ,you need to make him understand how you feel,this is best done over a nice meal in calm surroundings.Hope you feel better soon,as a rule time does heal things,send me a pm if you want to,you are not alone.

I agree completely with the above. It isn't good for you hun. to be like this. I hope things are improving but I'd take this individuals advice.