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What does he want?

I'm 47 and feel I should have all the ansers but I'm hopeless at emotional stuff. My ex and I were together for nearly 2 1/2 years. I'm pretty independant and knew he'd had problems with earlier relationships so I wasn't at all demanding. He had previously been married for 13 years (children now 20 and 22) then lived with another woman and her 3 children for 7-years, she had an affair and he met me 3-months after they split. He's honest, reliable and caring on the surface but turned out to be a averse to committment for the 3rd time. When we reached the 2-year mark other people not me started making comments about us not living together and others including his sister started asking when we were getting married. Well he started to back off big time in some ways but we still spent lots of time together but he stopped staying over, sex almost stopped and started making plans to do things that didn't include me, classic committment phobe symptoms. Eventually he said he couldn't commit to me so he needed a break, 24-hours later he said he was having regrets already and to give him time to sort his head out and he would think about committment. So we tried again but 2-weeks later he said he needed a break, that was 3-months ago. During that time he's made some clumsy attempts at jokey emails which have caused me upset, then he tried again and eventually we spoke on the phone about a week ago and finally met for dinner at the weekend and we had a really lovely evening. He's since started to text me regularly. I don't know whether he just wants us to be friends or should I read more into it, I'm scared to go back there because it hurt so much when we split and I can't go through that again. I'm on a dating website and while I've not found anyone I want to meet yet I don't even know if I should with all this confusion going on. What should I do?

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Hi

Hi Hun,

Gosh it sounds like you have a man who is terrified of commitment, which I guess is understandable, but is very unfare. He sounds like he is not sure what he wants.

The question is DO YOU TRULY LOVE HIM? look within yourself to get the answer.

If you do love him wait for him, but if you do not continue with your life hun.

Life is too short to be heart broken.

rita x



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