Even though it was a bad relationship, i'm having trouble moving on...

I met this guy when I was waitressing, I thought everything was so incredible. I can't even describe how he looked at me. We dated and ended up moving in together... terrible move I suppose. We started fighting and that flair of passion at the beginning slowly faded away. He disappeared for a week, "needed some time," without telling me anything and turning off his phone. I was worried sick about him. We lived in a 4 bedroom house and another guy he worked with lived with us. I spent every night crying and talked to him almost every night. I thought he was being a really good friend. Upon my x's return, I found out that he had gotten a new phone while out of town and had been calling our room mate the whole time and checking up on my whereabouts. I felt betrayed by my x, and our room mate since I had confided in him. Even through all this, I just wanted to fix it all. It feels that I forgot all the bad times (numerous times of me packing my things to leave, and arguements). The only thing I can remember are the good things in between all the turmoil. I know that I am better off without him, and him me. It is just so hard because we talk now and then... it feels like it is so easy for him to blow me off, but I spend all day looking forward to seeing him. I feel like a psychotic x girlfriend. Sometimes I know I really don't want him back, I just want him to want me back.

It really has changed a lot of how a look at people and trust them, he just does not understand everything he put me through, any advice?

From the outside

Hi
From the outside looking in this is a straightforward choice. Consider:
1. He deliberately stayed out of contact with you
2. He and your room-mate were discussing you behind your back, therefore he knew how hurt you were. It was a gross and unforgiveable breach of trust by both of them

He is a user, but worse than that, he is a nasty user, playing on your emotions. You deserve better and will find and be able to trust a much better guy. I know it will be hard, but you should consider walking away. He is not worth your tears. You are the worthy one. Don't let him destroy you, all guys are not like him.

Take care

Been there..am there

Ahh I lived with my guy too, except I ended up getting pregnant only to have him leave..and then I had a miscarriage. The best thing to do is let go, it's so hard..I still have not gotten there myself because I have found myself texting him things, getting angry and writing things I don't mean just because of all the pain he put me through. It's much better to kind of be single and just get to know yourself more. As hard as it sounds....it's something every girl has got to go through in order to learn we deserve better..and you definitely do. If you need any help, send me a message/comment - I am more than happy to talk to you.

*sigh*

honest, there is no real advice, if walking away was the right thing, then you did the right thing, and it sounds like it was. all the fighting and the games are simple ways of control. i learned those from my ex who did things like that...and i was stuck (still sorta am) on him, it took me writing a list of all the bad and all the good for me to finally let go.

we always remember the good. its easier and less painful, but the bad reminds us of why we made the choices we made.