Help pleeze!

Hi. I know I have to leave him. It's just....i can't.
Same old story........things were perfect for a while and i really thought i'd found my soul mate, but he blowsup over anything now, i have to be careful, he has argued with my family and criticizes them non-stop, tells me to shut up if i try to explain something to him. He is constantly accusing me of saying/thinking things I haven't thought, let aone said, with the inevitable consequence thatI feel as if I'm losing it.
He also always tells me I amalways seeking to lay the blame on other people, when i dont think so, I'm always ready to discuss something and admit i'm wrong, but when i try to explain, he says 'dont start your games with me' and that just shuts me up. He doesn't like it if i cry either, i have to smile - even when hes been shouting at me for 10 minutes straight without letting up. He'salwaysforcing me to kiss him andit'sjust so stupid.
How did I let myself get into this abysmal situation? I was really happy and positive when i met him, my self esteem is now rock bottom and i cant even do simple thingswithout doubting my judgement.
To make matters worse i'm afraid of leaving him because he's vindictive and i dont know what he might do.
He told me it was over when i left him after he had gone mental because I had said something to a stranger who had parked a bit too close to the car (like 'dont worry we wont be leaving for another 10 minutes) but i took him back, then i left him via email but he pretended nothing had happened, so i felt sort of forced to carry on with this sham, well...how can i leave and stay away??? And minimize fallout????

Brutal truth

Right here is exactly what you need to hear, and I'm not just someone faffing on, I have actual experience, up until four weeks ago, I was exactly where you are now - for four years. I finally snapped one day, I don't know entirely how or why, I just did. I told him it was over and that was it, I walked away.
You can't leave him because he has brainwashed you, emotionally scarred you and in short; broken you. You are as fragile as a china doll right now, and in some sense his bullying is a sadistic (him) sense of security. He has broken you down so much that he has got you in the position of all you think about and fret about is him, what he'll say or do. That isn't a life and that isn't love; that is bullying.
Get out now before he destroys you to your very core, to a point that you are beyond repair, right now, there is still a ray of hope, however, imagine if you stay, fast forward to 10 years time; you'll be a nervous wreck.
Move in with family/friends, change your email, mobile and any other forms of contact. If he harrasses you, call the police, record phone calls, verbal confrontations, and never let yourself be alone, always have someone with you for the first few weeks. He will go berserk because by leaving you are removing the control that he took from you initially. Tough cookies! Stay strong and get out while you still have your sanity and self worth.

He is destroying you babe, and we both know that you are better than that. GET OUT x

Best wishes on your new life x x

You are beautiful, intelligent, strong and loyal!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That I know and you have put up with this for too long. You are right you have to move on and the sooner the better, today is not soon enough. You are intelligent that comes across from your contents. You must make a plan, write it down and action it. You must have good friends, parents you can go to. He sounds like a bully and he knows that it is finished but cannot face the truth?


Go today - parents and friends, he will soon leave you alone; luckily she make no mention that he has been violent toward you. Move out meet him on neutral ground, in public, if you are in West London there is a spare room in my house until late November ?


Very best - just do it - you are strong. Guess what you will n ot be on your own for long.