Unfaithful

Oh god, I'm highly ashamed of myself and I know you're all gonna hate me, but here it goes...

I have been with my boyfriend for 14months. I adore him, however our relationship has become increasingly rocky since a girl started texting him semi naked pics to which he responded. Then he started texting an ex in front of me, then I looked thru his phone and found there r nearly 30 girls on there!

Anyway, I have been working closely with this guy for 6 months and have fancied him the whole time. On my leaving do, I ended up in his bed for almost a week while his girlfriend was away, and slept with him once.

He is in interested in all the things I like (whereas me and my boyfriend are total opposites) and he has all the personal qualities I admire, and he fulfills everything I feel is lacking in my relationship - both sexually and emotionally. I admire, respect and genuinely like him for who he is.

He broke it off with me yesterday after sleeping with me, and despite feeling quite used, I now realise just how strongly my feelings for him have grown over the time I've been working with him. I cannot be the same around my boyfriend, and he has noticed something's up. I was already on the verge of breaking things up with him when all this happened. It's all been made worse by my boyfriend pretending to have an epileptic fit last week when he had actually been hallucinating from using skunk while at work.

I know, I know, I know I have done wrong to go behind my boyfriend's back. It broke my heart when I found out he was texting that other girl, but I know what I have done is much much worse. It would never have occurred to me to do this before things started to go so wrong between us, but now I just cannot get this other guy out of my mind and the thought that I may never see him again has left me devastated. He has a girlfriend and children but said he is scared that he is beginning to have feelings for me. He has ignored my last couple of texts, understandably.

Help!!!

Heart rules head

Hello,

I have to disagree with you, yes you might of bed hopped, but is it right that your boyfriend texted an x and all the other girls? Often when things go wrong in relationships we tend to find the comfort we are looking for somewhere else, but it doesnt always work out the way you expect it too, does it?

You have to try get this other guy out of your head, yes it was fun while it lasted but children have to come first with a male as there is always a chance that he wouldnt see his children again and i think he values his children (family) more then he really values you,just like you he probably has had problems with his partner.
He has broke it off with you due to his family commitments and so that he doesnt form a proper attachment with you.
forget the family man, your heart is trying to rule your head.sort out your problems with the one your with.

However your boyfriend already probably knows what you have done or has an hunch what has gone on.

With him haveing an pretend epeleptic fit is just a form of attention seeking, as he probably knows that you was going to break it off with him. Talk to your boyfriend and if it's not working out then tell him why you dont think its working out and what you would like if you both remained together.
what qualities do you want in a man, what is your boyfriend lacking that you would like him to have, explain what you would like and do things together.

hope this helps

Clean up the mess up front.

hi
all of you are in a mess. you choose to do all that behind somebody else back then why freel bad when same is done to you .own up this grittering mr right as sacriifice for your changed you in uprightness.saharpen your morals disntegrating work and play. must when you work with somebody mean you discard previous friend? remember easy to find friends always does things that rulls you for self gratification and in this case using you.go back and retrace you life start a new good luck
thanks
mundusimba in africa

I did it too

and I loved it! My bf loved it too when I told him! thanks to Dr. Victoria!

Understand

I wouldn't sit around for a man showing half the city's girls a good time even if only via text (or apparently at this minute)

a lot of us have been there and done that, it's not a nice thing to think what response your partner may have; but at the end of the day if his texts continued would you still be with him? There was someone who was treating you well and giving you what you needed whilst rejected by the person who should have been giving you attention.

there is nothing which would eliviate your guilt or feelings of remorse, but the past is written and there's always a future to be told.

It's understandable you feel down when the man who has paid you attention is now stepping back, but often as well men return to their partners whom they are comfortable with. it's never easy to deal with I do hope things pick up soon

Go girl

u go girl u were right 2 do this dnt feel bad!ure boyf is not exactly innocent in all this,it may have gone further than txtin! i'd have done the same! gud 4 u!!!

Youre only human

you made a mistake darls it doesnt make you a bad person...just really think about what you wrote...how can he have these great qualities....he has deceived his girlfriend and kids!! is that really someone to admire??im not going to repeat all the same stuff coz mumzies right...just the bit about the 11th commandment...never ever forget that-ok??? now just learn from all this forgive yourself and move on - big squeeze xx

Time to do the right thing

Ok so you know you have done wrong..but there are 2 people in every sexual relationship I hope you were carefu, because believe me any man who beds a girl at work, when he has a partner AND KIDs, is a clever man..a deceitful man and he played you just perfectly..you had your sparkle head on, and hunny this is what turns off our brain and then they get in out knickers...why did he dump you...? Either he thinks you are too much bother,as I bet you told him about how bad you feel? (bunny boiler alert)OR he is onto the next victim, but will take what ou put on a plate to try & get him back..now listen..sorry but you broke the 11th commandment..(don't sh*t on other women, especialy ones with kids) and this is what you deserve! So chin up move on , get to the clinic if there is any chance you have an std (I'm guessing he played the faithful partner so he didn't have to get a rubber on)..and it is now sooooooo.....time to grow-up.
As for your bf..communicate! You can recover from this, or it wil show you what you don't have.....tell him he drove you to it...its kind-a true..and just HOW much you confess to...that depends on you. Its time to face up to...not infidelity, but how to maintan a relationship..if you are hurt ..tel him ! & make him respect you..if he won't dump him , but don't go getting into a head sparkle with the next dangerous man again..he DIDN'T fullfill you , he used all the right words to use you ..sorry ....you fell for it.
Its not hopeless , you needed a reality check , Its done...from me... with mumzie love..now you can learn
H

Thanks

I totally know you're both right. This is totally out of character for me and I would never have done it if I didn't have genuine feelings for the other guy,which he says he has for me but that understandably he will never hurt his family. I haven't told this other guy how I feel, I won't do that to him or to myself. I think it is just a lust thing, and all it's done is highlighted the big problems in my current relationship. But I've realised my relationship is worth saving so I'm gonna try and fill the gaps with him, if it's possible. Thanks you two xx

Dont feel bad

cheating is really a totally natural thing and fulfills a basic sexual need of women which is not accepted in our modern society. you can see my post cheating your way to a healthy relationship. let me know if i can help you dear
victoria