Oops had an affair

Well what can i tell you. Been married for 3yrs today been with husband for 9yrs everything was good til 2and half yrs ago we started trying for a baby had problems was told we needed to have IVF treatment due to husband having blocked tubes caused by scare tissue after a football injury. We thought we can work through this well thats what i thought. Suddenly went from a fantastic sex life to none thats been for 18months and counting he doesn't touch hold or kiss me anymore. IVF seems to take forever which didn't help.
Got to the point I told him if things don't change I'm leaving I need cuddles, kisses and SEX!!!!!!!!
The next thing to my problem is a very good friend of mine who I've known for 16yrs that I have always had a huge crush on and him for me ended up sleeping together the only reason it didn't happen before my husband was our age difference he six yrs older which doesn't sound alot now but when your 14 it is.
I've told my husband I want to try and work through things and try again. I love him but not sure if I'm attracted to him the same way anymore I don't get horny looking at him anymore he's more like a friend now that I live with.

What should I !!!!

Re - oops had a affair

Mate you must be really going through it. I really feel for you.
I had been with my husband for nearly 20yrs & 6 tries at IVF - no success just an empty bank balance!
We became more like siblings than lovers even though I loved (still do) him to bits, I had an affair with a guy much younger than myself & he offered me a way out - I did not take that way out though.
The guilt was horrific & I ended up telling my husband everything & I realised this was a turning point for us both.
Now 14mths later I am having a ball, no commitments just lots of fun.
I am still very good friends with my husband & he is with another now & I am happy for him.
I did try to get the sparkle back but sometimes trying is just not enough.
Keep your chin up.
You only get one life.
xxx

What a ...

Your evil

Did you once ever think of this from his angle?
Its a big issue when a man finds out he struggles to get his wife pregnant.
Wow the things that must be going on in his head.Thoughts like 'am I good enough for her' and 'I cant even get her pregnant' or 'does she still want me I wonder'

Well your a nice girl as you've answered all his questions in one,by having sex with another guy.

Yup

try marriage counseling... it might help..
don't give up...remember your vows...
in sickness and in health....

Ask yourself some qs

Could counselling be a solution? It seems to me that there's something fundamentally wrong if you're trying to have a baby with this man yet you're not attracted to him anymore. I think you need to ask yourself some serious questions. Starting with: is he the man you want to have a family with?

Ask yourself some qs

"something fundamentally wrong if you're trying to have a baby with this man yet you're not attracted to him anymore. " I would suggest counselling also and really have you taken into consideration how your husband might feel knowing he can't get you pregnant how devestating this may be to his ego, and then you go out and have an affair maybe your upset because he can't give you a bay but what are you going to do have an affair with this man and have his child what if this affair is just that an affair and you have destroyed your marriage because of sex, and if you are not attracted to your husband maybe you should seperate for awhile and find out if the relationship is worth working on.