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Why do people put up with being cheated on ?

I felt i had to write something on here, Why the hell do people forgive cheaters ?? Ive been with my fella for 2 years, we are planning our wedding and ttc but never in a million years would he ever cheat on me and vice versa. If you dont trust somebody then get out of the relationship because at some point it will all end in tears !!
The main ingredient in a relationship is trust ??? If you havent got that then you havent got anything ??

If somebody truely loves you they would not do it to you.

Replies:
Messages:

I have to disagree with you there.

Look at cheryl cole and her partner he treats her like a queen now and has learned from his lesson, i dnt agree with once a cheater always a cheater people make mistakes but there are people out these that dont learn from them and carry on cheating, and i mean a 1 night stand not an affair, i dnt agree with that.

x

Why shld women have to justify to society a reason for staying after cheating?

THIS THREAD MAKES ME FEEL THAT YOU KINDA THINK WOMEN ARE WEAK IF THEY HAVE A MAN BACK AFTER HE HS HAD AN AFFAIR.
DON'T STIGMATISE A WOMEN OR MAN WHO STAYS WITH A PARTNER WHO HAS CHEATED. IT'S NOT SET IN STONE THAT THEY SHOULD LEAVE...NOR THAT THEY SHOULD STAY...BUT PLEASE....
...IGNORE THE GIRL/WOMENS MAGAZINES THAT MAKE IT FASHIONABLE TO THROW HIM/HER OUT, IGNORE YOUR MATES AND COLLEAUGES...LET IT BE YOUR OWN DECISSION TO TRY OR NOT. GOOD LUCKX

(pls excuse spellings am too tired to check spellings, type etc...still getting oven flu)

...I agree entirely with exploro...we all set out saying the same thing...none of us go into marriage or a commitment believing that our partner will cheat!

With all respect...I bet you're not very old mowey. When you're young everything is black and white with a big fairy tale ending, I so hope it stays that way for you but I can say with complete certainty that if it does you are one of the very very few exceptions...

...and the other lady who said she had been with her BF for over a year...please...a year...thats still known as the honeymoon period hun...wait til you'e been together for 10 yrs + or so with the pressures of kids and a mortgage, balancing work, home and partner and all that with a broom stuck up your ass to mop the floor too, lol

I'm single...and let me just remind some of you women out there that have said...I'm 100% certain my partner won't cheat on me... don't make me laughl...my friends and I are bl**dy sick of those guys that so often try to chat up us single ladies, those same creepy shi*s that you women call devoted BF's and husbands, the ones that you think are oh soooooo faithful...not if they got chance...so beware!

Anyway, as you grow older you draw on your lifes experiences and see situations from more than one angle...I'm not saying it's right to cheat...but when someone cheats, there is a reason for them cheating. It may be a simple reason I agree, BUT it may be more complex.

So...as pumpkin says...if you were in love with the person who cheated on you...surely that love does not disappear...you may hate what they did...but you don't just stop loving them. Breaking up a relationship needs thought. I work with many women and have seen them apply pressure to people making that descision...and I think we should stop acting like lemmings...there is so much pressure with this girl power crap! (made spice girls millions...and us women media lemmings, lead by girl magazines/articles) applying pressure on us to

"why do people put up with being cheated on ?"

Ive been with my fella for 2 years, we are planning our wedding and ttc but never in a million years would he ever cheat on me and vice versa.
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------
99% of relationships begin like that dear.Never say never,it may come back and haunt you one day.

...

yup...i guess cheating is a very serious matters....
so if you're considering it....think it over...

Reply

i dont agree that trust is the main thing

but i too cant see why you would forgive someone that cheats

Cheaters

well i did totally agree with what you said.untill 2 years ago when my hubby had an affair.after 20 odd years of marriage.been apart for 2 years.well i tried to hate him but i hated what he had done.i did not believe itthe bottom of my world fell out so to speak.how could he i was his every thing him mine.my soul mate the love of my life.but
things are not just black and white.we are now trying again its hard but i think it is worth it.

Very good question

There is a book "women who love too much" that explains just why people (not only women) cope with situations that aren't logical. It's a way to deny to ourselves that something is wrong, that we can cope with everything. To cope is also a mechanism caused by our fear to be alone, without a partner, and it's also a way to control our emotional lives in order to avoid diving into the pain of rejecting or being rejected.
Fear, my dear, only fear.

The situation improves when we work on our self-esteem and self-worth through the help of a counsellor or psychotherapy workshops, only then we realize how much damage we do to ourselves and can we redeem our true lives.

Best Regards

I agree

i completley agree with u i have been with my bf now for almost a year and we would never dream of cheatin on one another an we trust each other 100%. Although my friend was cheated on by his girlfriend and her excuse was 'i was drunk sorry it was a one off' and he let her back now they 2gether again i dont know how he has done it he said its because he loves her but for her to have done that can she really love him? So yeah i agree i dont no how people can put up with been cheated on.



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