The jolly green monster appears!!!

Hi to anyone who will listen!

I have just started seeing the most wonderful gawjus man ever!! its been 3 months and things are going fab!! Apart from one thing... my insecurities! I am paranoid he is gunna cheat on me. everywhere i go there r beautiful women wearing skimpy clothing with big ... everywhere. you know the type, blonde beautiful women nice breasts! and i cant stand it!!!
i love this guy more than anything but i cant stop these hangups and feelings. why is he with me? does he really love me? and again, just why me!!! people say he has high standards. ok so again why me. im short, skinny, not an oil painting, no ... no arse, the list goes on!
i want to be able to trust this man but i just dont know how! im scared he is gunna go out with his mates have one tomany drinkies and some gawjus woman is gunna come up to him and thats it, steal him away from me!! i just wanna be able to trust him!!!!!
my last relationship before tis guy, i was cheated on twice and ended up been dumped for some black supermodel esque woman! ( no rasism been applied here!) i love this man, he makes me so happy and he is all i think about! so please can someone help me understand why and how to deal with the issue of been paranoid him cheating on me! he hasnt even done anything to deserve this kind of treatment! and im scared if i dont get help soon, i will lose him forever!!

Thanks x x x

I know exactly where you're coming from!

oh my god you sound just like me! I could have written what you wrote a while ago! The main difference is that I'm now starting to get some control over my green monster. It's taken blumming long enough though. I was cheated on twice by my ex boyfriend too which I think is the cause for all the jealousy.

I'm no expert hun but all I can advise you to do is work on your self-confidence. Before you let anyone love you, you should love yourself. You say that you're no oil painting, no breasts or bum.. well neither have I. In comparison to a lot of women, I thought "how can my bf like ME?" but the fact of the matter is he does (he's not a big breast kind of guy, he likes what I've got!). So don't put yourself down, the way you are is the way you are and it sounds like your bf is just fine with that... he wouldn't have chosen to be with you otherwise!

You can spend every hour of the day worrying that he might cheat on you. The sad fact is that some people do cheat and no amount of worrying will stop anyone. So you see, worrying about it serves no purpose! Just enjoy what you've got. Be confident and let him see how much you love your own body. Also, think of all the great things he does, all the things that make you so happy: Focus on these REAL things, not the IMAGINARY scenarios you create in your head.

One final point: try to stop comparing him to your ex (perhaps you do it on a sub-conscious level). He's not a ... like your ex, he's your wonderful, gorgeous man... don't tar him with the same brush as your ex. A lot of women end up pushing thier man away with their insecurities and trust issues... now you don't want to turn into one of those do you?

Hope some of this helps!
Shaz x

Thanks

yeah u r right. i dont wanna push him away. mayb a self help course would do the trick for my confidence! ta 4 ur advice!! x x

Reply

he wouldn't have chosen to be with you otherwise! if your man wanted some big breasted women with an arse then he would gotten one of those he obviously see the oil painting in you. Love yourself and it will be easier to love and trust him, and if he hasn't given you any reasons to believe he would cheat on you then relax and enjoy each other not all men love the dumb blond bimbo look.