I need someone to talk 2. jealousy/trust/insecurity

Why cant i forget the past? my bf lived abroad for 5 years before i met him. he lived the fast life got completely ... every nite, slept with girls, did drugs. he never actually told me the amount of girls he slept with, he just said it was alot and he couldnt even remember exactly how many coz he was too drunk. I just imagine him with a different girl every nite and it makes me feel sick. ive read things on facebook about him hooking up with the girls we was abroad with and how he got sooo much attention from the ladies. I know i shouldnt be jealous because he hadn't even met me then, but with them being his friends on facebook i worry that they could start talking again or they might come on to him. He said he was a different person back then and i believe him but that doesnt stop me being paranoid and however much i try i just cant forget the images of this in my head. I really hate it and i love him so much i dont want it to affect us. Please help, how do i forget about this?

I know it is probably because of my insecurities but i cant help being jealous. Hes very attractive and very confident i feel like if a girl ever talked to him they would fancy him, and i worry that he might find someone better than me. Even little things make me jealous like when he goes to work he wears shirts and doesnt do the top few buttons up. He looks sexy but why would he do this for work, he looks like hes asking for female attention and it really gets to me. I have said i dont like other girls being able to see his chest but he just said i was being silly and wont do the buttons up. Am i being stupid for getting upset by this? Also when he goes out with his mates he will always look nice and when he comes home to me he always gets into his comfy stuff which is fine but it feels like he doesnt make the effort to look nice for me, just when hes going to work or going out.

I also have issues with trust and i dont know why, he hasnt really given me any reason to distrust him as he said he will never lie to me and he hasnt cheated on me or anything. But when he said he was going round his mates house i believed him and then i found out later that he has been going out into town with his mate after a few hours at his house. he used to txt me to say goodnight coz he couldnt get signal in his mates house but now i find out that this is just before he goes into town, and if hes out in town y cant he txt me? i dont want to be a controlling gf who has to know every move he makes but y would he not tell me he was going out instead of staying in. So now i always get worried when he goes out i cannot think about anything else, i always worry that hes not where he says he is and how knows what he could be doing, he could be cheating on me. I worry that when hes been drinking he might be chatting up girls in town as he is a bit of a flirt.

Im going insane as i have no one to talk to about this stuff because if i talk to him he usually gets annoyed at me for being upset and says he cant deal with it. Please help, how do i deal with these things?

Make him chase you..he will follow.

Hi,

I 100% know where you are coming from, I feel that way sometimes when it comes to my partner, he's very attractive and has girls throwing themselves at him - sometimes when I'M THERE! However, the only thing you can do is trust the guy. First off, start looking at the positive instead of the negative; he told you about his past, which means he has feelings for you and wants to be honest, this is good. If he had hid this from you and you had found this is out through someone else then you would have a good reason for distrust, however he was honest which probably means he's an honest guy all around.
Also, you have to remember - men EXAGGERATE - they say they've slept with 10 women? Divide it by 5!
What I would honestly suggest if you reignite the chase; I'm talking sexy lingerie, tight outfits (not for him), lots of "dates" with your girl friends, and start paying him as little attention as he sounds like he is paying you.
In terms of him always sitting in his "comfy clothes" the sounds like someone has gotten a little too comfortable, which means you have too unfortunately, you need to step it up a gear.
Men are like dogs; if they don't have something to chase, they get bored and LAZY. Which sounds like your exact problem.
Develop a life outside of your relationship, you had a life before you got with your bf so get back to it. Make him chase you, and start believing in yourself! He may have picked you, but YOU picked him TOO. Start making him appreciate it you and stop being such a lazy bum, you deserve better. Yes, you need to work on your insecurities but he isn't exactly being the reassuring and supportive bf! Men are as dumb as planks most of the time and the rest of the time they're thinking with their zipper.
This no reception story IS ONLY TRUE when you're in a bar or club underground! So if he is saying he is at his mates then unless his mate lives in a poor reception area then he is talking B.S.
My honest opinion is to go get your independence back, and stop saying "how should I deal with this" YOU shouldn ... should be a team thing, not singular. If he isn't going to make an effort to spend time with you, I'd honestly give him a taste of his own medicine - start going out with your friends looking amazing and be vague with the details! Also, if he calls or texts, don't answer, play the "poor signal" card It happens ya know!
Bottom line: men are like dogs- you have to make them keep chasing you to keep them interested. No chase = game over. x x x x

You can talk with me

if you really need someone to talk to i am that person...email me

"i need someone to talk 2. jealousy/trust/insecurity"

how are you feeling about your self and how is the relationship between you and youe bf hope you are feeling better and just take things oneday at a time.

Insecurity

just checking in to see how you feel, what decisions you have come too and if anything has changed.

Help

somedays i feel fine and we have a good time together but when im not with him my mind starts to wander and i think of all these bad things and get really angry as if hes done something bad . Something else is bothering me 2. he does work one night a week on a new business hes setting up and i used to go round his while he worked and just watched tv while he was on his laptop. then last nite when he was working i asked to go round and he wouldnt let me come round until after 10pm coz he was working and i said ill just sit with him and watch tv like i usually do and he said no i wasnt to come round til after 10. Then when i looked on his laptop today the file he was working on hadnt been touched since march and there was no history in the iternet browser after lunchtime yesterday and he said he was on the internet while he was working. So either he went on the internet and deleted the history which means hes hiding something or he was lying and wasnt working or on the internet. So what was he doing? He said he would never cheat on me or lie to me but he could just be saying this. Im afraid to talk to him about this because hell think im checking up on him and hell get really angry and dump me. I also find that im getting really jealous about ne girl we see, girls who just walk past, girls on tv, girls at work etc. And ive been having a few dreams that hes cheating on me. How do i get rid of my insecurities and learn to trust him?

I need someone to talk 2. jealousy/trust/insecurity

I think if your BF didn't want to be with you he wouldn't. Have you ever thought that thereason he is with you is because you are beautiful, so hwy do you feel so insecure. Maybe he doesn't dress up for yo because he feels comfortable around you and doesn't feel like he needs to put on airs. Talk to him and let him know how you feel but I really think you might be reading too much into it let some of the insecurities go.