help me please!

my boyfriend and i had been together for 2 and a half years, we have been through so much and hes like my best friend aswell as my boyfriend, hes cheated on me a number of times, hes kissed a few girls, been texting other girls saying he loves them, wants to sleep with them etc and hes even slept with a guy.. and there just what i know for a fact! i suffer from very bad paranoia, depression and low self esteem and im constantly worried hes cheated/cheating on me. i cant seem to stop it! he says they all mean nothing but i cant help but think it does. am i not good enough? our past has been abit mad, ive had 2 abortions and weva split up i dont knwo how many times and its got to the point now where i dont even know what to do and ive even considered aking my life because of all the mess im in.
im 16 years old and hes 18, and ive got to the stage now where i dont knw wether to just leave him for good, stay friends with him, nothing more or get back with him and fight to make it work which we always try. i lost all my mates thorugh being with him and i cant talk to my family, i used to spend all my time with him and hes the only one that knows everything about me, im scared of letting him go and im jealous he will find someone else. hes been really differnent lately and ive tried speaking to him but he doesnt seem to care anymore. i went to hospital last night as i thought of taking my life and he didnt even offer to come and support me, although were not together anymore we are still too close and he just left me and went out with his mates in their cars. am i asking for too much?
i dont think i can cope without him and im scared im going to do something stupid because of it. what shall i do? has anyone been in the same position? someone please help me!!!

You know, I've looked at your pic and you are a stunning girl. You may not believe this, but some men are so insecure, that they try all sorts to keep you under control. What this man is doing is abuse. It's very clever and subtle, but it IS abuse.

So you are feeling paranoid, not good enough, depressed, under pressure, scared, always on edge? You need to get away from this man and heal!

Relationships that are healthy make you feel secure, happy, safe, optimistic! Do you feel any of these with this man? Or does it go from extreme highs (when he's made you feel good) to extreme lows (when he's controlling you)?

The warning signs that I have here are the fact that your friends and family are now remote; he's isolated you. This is a classic.

Please, for your sanity and happiness, get away from this man. It will be extremely hard and he will ensure that it is hard, but you will not turn back. You will heal up from wanting him and you will go on to be happy.

Please let us know how you get on!

Axxx

Good adviceeeee x

Girl if i was you i would of got up and left the minute he started texting and tell people he loved them dont get me wrong friends are fine i do actually feel sorry for you your sixteen go out and have fun instead of being sat at home worring weather he cheating on you, you deserve so much better i dont like lads that cheat and never will its disrespectful and make the girls feel like they have done something wrong when they havent. So go out have fun and leave him behind you DESERVE ALOT BETTER than somebody who CHEATS on you ! xx Good Luck xx

Get ya self out n meet new ppl xxxxxxxxxx

hunni i really feel 4 u i knw how hard it all is iv been with my bf for 3 yrs and its not that easy to walk away when you love someone my and my fella av ad the same probs sometimes i just wanna shake him cuz hes cheated to my msates tell me to leave him and myself knw there right and i really wish i could cuz nothin changes but i just feel lost without him iv devoted alot of my life too him and he knws so much bout me so i knw how you gfeel when you say hes ur best friend ........but please dnt giv him the satisfaction of ending your life cuz men are ... and 1 day el relise he lost the best thing if ya wanna talk jus say xxx

Been there...

Hi, I felt very sad to read your letter as it brought back so many memories, I was in my 20's with 2 children when in your situation and it seemed impossible at the time to get away from it...but at 16, honey, uve got your WHOLE life ahead of you...

These sort of cruel men(and sometimes women) prey on the vunerable,because they are weak and need to be with someone they can dominate.

If he truly cared for you he wouldn't be going off with anyone else sweetheart x

Please keep talking to people, family, chat buddies, and im sure that we'll all advise the same..that you won't feel any better about yourself all the while u have anything to do with him...its like having an addiction to something terribly bad for you..u mustn't go anywhere near him if you are to recover from this.

You have to want more for yourself sweetie..you are a beautiful girl and the right man will absolutely wrap u up and cherish you ..but first you have to cherish yourself...you dont want to be preyed on again by such an emotionally cruel bully...and please, please, don't even tink of harming yourself sweetie because you will get better from this..right now u are mentally unwell because of your poor treatment,mixed messages and the impact of 2 abortions on your brain and body...u deserve to have an awesome life, as we all do, and have to take small steps in looking after yourself so that u can have this..

All the best, Tx

Hi

Hi there im really sorry to hear that and you dont need to be put through that by anyone..!
I myself im 17 and i am settled down and i know what you mean when you said he's your best friend and he knows everything about you it's hard to walk away as many people have to do it when there married and have children but this doesnt seem healthy for you??
What are you getting out of your relationship/friendship??
You must have friends everyone needs them. what about getting in contact with your old friends im sure they will love to hear from you =]
Even if you and your boyfriend got back together could you see him changing?? He's 18 he will be around friend's who wont to be going around town getting drunk and partying nonstop do u need the hastle of thinking what if he has found someone else?? Your a smart girl and you shouldnt think about taking your life hun. Can u talk to a family member about it if you dont have any friends??
Keep posting and be strong the world is your oyster and there is so many things you can do and be in your life go to college make friends drive be who u wont to be if you dont move on now you might never do, you need to be happy and get your confedence back up u look really pretty in your picture just be strong!!!!!! x

Same position

Well i have been in a sortof simular position.
I had a very bad jealousy issue and even though he never i was convinced
I'm sorry to hear that you've been through alot.
I think that taking your own life is wrong but hey ho i tried to do it and i totally regret it... when i see it now, you have to put yourself first and no one is ever worth that
I think you should stay away from him and not even try to be friends and move on.
There is alot of fish out there so don't worry you will find someone that makes you happy
No one deserves to be cheated on
Have you tried asking him why he cheated on you?
Drunk or grugged up is no excuse.
I think if he's making you feel the way you do then its not gonna help you
Hope you feel better soon

Believe in yourself......

Hi hun, I think you've had some really good support on here but can I just add....

these men do prey on vunerable women, it boosts their ego and they are often rather insecure themselves, although this is no excuse. Never feel sorry or make excuses for them. Start to think about YOU. Channel your energy towards yourself.

If you have a job and funds available......treat yourself.....pamper yourself.....think of all your good points (inside goodness and outer) and tell yourself over and over you are lovely (say it out loud, it does help hun) treat yourself like a PRINCESS....embrace the things you can do now you are single, join a gymn, dancing classes, etc and pop to your college and enroll on a course, you will meet different people which will get you away from this man ..
...and if you are not working, go to your local college and chat to an advisor regarding enrolling on a course. Enquire at the college hair and beauty faculty about being a model for the trainees and have a little pampering that way....
Whatever you do hun........focus on YOU....find a path that will give you a goal to achieve and channel your energies into that.......you will find it very empowering....before long YOU wil be in the driving seat........x