Help me please!!

Can anyone give me any advice. ive been in a 3 year relationship with my guy. i feel so insecure and i find it hard to trust him. every girl i see or he talks about i flip inside. is he cheating, am i ugly, does he find her more attractive. i read his messages whenever hes not in the room. i just cant help myself.it makes me feel a ... to do so but im just dragged to do it. his lates message was 'me and M are good, grass is always greener'!! help. whats that supposed to mean? please can anybody give me advice??

...

it probably mean nothing...you're just
way too suspicious....

Hold your horses.

When they say the grass is always greener they may be talking about a change of lifestyle not relationship, don't try and reed too far in to it.
If he thought you were ugly I'm sure he wouldn't be with you - we all know what men are like lol.
When he's talking to these other girls do you know what he's talking about with them? How ling does he talk with them? And how long has he known them and where did he meet them?
There may be nothing to worry about.

L.H.

Re: hold your horses.

Thanks for ur advice. i just find it so hard to accept that he wants to chat to these other girls more than he wants to chat to me. the 1st time i read his msgs ( this was not to find out what he says, i was bord waiting for him) it was to this girl he works with chatting about messing up her bed and how it would never work. all of which he claims was inocent. but he just keeps goin on bout how pretty so and so is and oh id like to f&£$ her. it just makes me feel horrible. most ov these girls hes met in work. he doesnt go out. but i know that his mate wants him to go out and get drunk and get with the girls down his way. i dont think he would do anything but im so worried that he would. grrr. so fustrated.

Omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He wants to talk to these girls over you - are you serious! And I can't believe that he said that to that girl. Does he still show you attention in and out of the bedroom? If not try to make a move yourself.
If I were you I'd ask him some searching questions like do ever think about other girls. But don't freak out if he just says yes because ALL men do - unless they are some sort of super man that has been specialy developed for women, like that's going to happen lol.
REMEBER DON'T DO ANYTHING THAT I'VE SAID IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE ABOUT IT. I DON'T WANT TO GET EITHER OF US INTO TROUBLE THOUGH - lol
L.H.

Re: omg!!

Yeah he still shows me affection. our sex life is fab to be honest. i do try the searching questions but he just teases me with the whole oh yeah C is fit, and me and J get on real well. i think he only talks to these girls @ work cuz there is no1 else to talk to. i just wish he would stop goin on about them and tryin to upset me. cuz it really does. the other night was fab. he fell asleep in my arms. It felt just like old times. i just wish it could be like that all the time. just without the whole is he wishin he was with another woman thing!! he still says he loves me but i say it a load more than he does. i try not to say it to him all the time but i cant help myself. he means the world to me. sorry to rant on. bit emotional i thinks!! ur advice is a god send. im startin to c abit more clearer. thanks so much!!

Faye xxx

No wories

Don't worry about ranting it's nice to get things off your chest now and again.
If you ask me he just sounds like one of these blokes that are a bit of a flirt - and that tends to be as far as it goes.
And men don't always say I love you back or as much as we do. It's just how they work; I know sometime I say it to my boyfriend and all I get in return is "Is what's its name on the telly tonight?" and the best thing I fine to do is laugh I've spent to many days worrying about what he hasn't said that it takes other nice things that he has said.
I'm really glad that he still shows you attention. Perhaps tell him now and then that you enjoy it and how you felt when he fell asleep in your arms because that's normally the best way to get what you want.

L.H.
x

Re: no worries!

I know i should stop the way i feel but i just cant seem to shift the thought of him been with someone else. ive thought to myself, hats better, to ask him straight out do you want to be with me anymore and for him to say no and we break up from it or do i just keep my mouth shut and enjoy been with him regardless of him seein ppl behind my back. it just makes me hurt inside and i cant stop worryin bou it. i just wanna sit in a corner and cry like a baby. he means the world to me and im tryin everythin to keep him interested but some days hes just so distant. i dont want him to slag me off to hims mates and say how much he nolonger wants to be with me and for them to look and me and think stupid cow hasnt got a clu abou whats goin on. ive been burnt so many times b4 and i dont think i can again. it would destroy me as a person. x

Reply

All I can really say is if you asked yourself "If someone else came along that you fell head over heals in love with, would you leave the bloke you're with now for them?" You don't want to keep yourself in a relationship that you are finding is pulling yourself apart. Do as you feel best, it will turn out alright in the end.
Sorry I can't help more.

Good Luck
L.H.

Thanks!!

Thanks for all ur advice. i tried to talk to him bou it and tell him how i feel and he just gave me the oh emmy phrase and a big hug. i would never leave him 4 another guy. he means everythin to me. he makes me laugh and cheers me up when im down. he is (althou its sad and soppy) my world. and i love him. thanks for all ur advice. i guess uve made me c sense. ive just got to try 2 chill out and trust him. thanks so much.
Faye xx

Re: thanks!!

It's fine glad I could help.
I'm pleased he makes you happy.
L.H. xx