I believe there is a way
I didn't really get the big picture when I was younger either. I thought that love was just a stronger sense of 'like'. Probably a big contribution to why my first marriage only lasted 21 years (and believe me, that was really stretching it!).
My current marriage has been an education for me. I have learned that there are many facets to real love.
1.) You have to be best friends with the person, and not find fault with most of the things that they do.
2.) You have to compliment them on a consistant basis. And that means for everything.
3.) You have to feel real sorrow for them if you should inadvertantly say something mean-spirited to them or about them, and you need to be able to apologize with genuine sorrow immediately. If hurting your mate doesn't hurt yourself, you aren't there.
4.) You shouldn't waste precious time together nit-picking dumb things; toothpaste lid left off; toilet seat left up; laundry not sparkling clean; dishes with a little food particle on them. If your mate is trying to help you with things, DON'T look a gift horse in the mouth! Be grateful that he is making the effort to help because he loves you, and wants to do something to make you happy. And then make sure you say 'thank you' to him for everything he does, including working hard to bring home a paycheck. Don't take him for granted!
Having said all that, before you all decide to string me up, let me allow for one big fact: I did everything CONTRARY to all that I said above, with my first husband. And it was almost consistantly a battle ground.
With my current husband, read, Sweetheart, with whom I have been for nine years, it is way different. We NEVER fight, although we have had a few minor disagreements, which have never been allowed to escalate into a fight. And because I constantly remind him that I love him, and thank him for all that he does for me, IT IS RECIPROCATED! And he helps me around the house if I get busy on other projects (ie: when I recently went back to school to get my Certified Nursing Assistant training in preparation for going to school for my Registered Nursing Degree).
I don't know; I just worked on changing my attitude between separating and divorcing my former husband, and prepared myself to be a better person and consequently a better companion for my next spouse, since I had no doubt that I would find someone who was special for me.
But our love story has been published, and reads like a fairy tale. And that's the truth.
Good luck.
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