I need some help...

I am an 18 year old male and I have a "friend with benefits" situation. I would rather it be more, but its working fine so far.. anyway when we get to the intimacy I cannot stay erect. She tries to give me oral and we have also tried having sex. For some reason I cannot stay hard and therefor cannot ejaculate. I have never had this problem before, and I can still masturbate by myself, but for some reason it doesnt work out with her.. I am very attacted to her both physically and mentally. I would like to know if this is a dissorder or maybe just a problem I can fix? Please help.

I agree

I agree with the last post, this is a psychological problem all the way. Somewhere in your mind you do not feel what you are doing is appropriate, and every time this happens it only makes you feel lower, and increases the chances of it happening again. I had a situation almost exactly like yours. What you really need to do, and I'm very serious, is take yourself away from that side of the relationship. You need to re-establish your self-control, because right now you feel like you don't have any. And as long as you are trying to make yourself be hard, your body won't listen. You have to listen to your body and mind, not the other way around. And I can't imagine it getting any easier unless you take some time out. Just my two cents.

Emotional

it sounds to me like this is purly emotional, if you find her realy attractive you could possible be intimidated. though what seem more likly from what youve siad is that you want more than just a physical relationship with her and that your not ready to commit to that untill shes ready to commit to something more.

what id suggest in that case is that you explain to her how you feel and what you want, if she wants more too then you may find your problem goes away, if she doesnt then you should waste your time on her as itll only end with you getting hurt.