Sex and add/adhd, help!!!

My boyfriend has a severe case of ADD; I have a lot of problems believing ADD is an actual disease, and especially because some days it's worse than others.
It is affecting our sex life.
He gets extremely overwhelmed to the point where we cannot change the position, without him losing erection and becoming frustrated.

On top of that, I dread even initiating sex because I feel there is a complete lack of foreplay and thought. He gets carried away and it feels like he forgets what he's doing.
I have tried to ask him nicely "can you touch me here? or like this?" and it makes him feel inadequate.

I've tried explaining in a very sensitive manor how it feels to me and what I think he could do to help. For instance telling me when he finds his ADD at his worst- a forewarning.

Still I am losing my sex drive and the foreplay/sex just seems to be worsening. I feel like I am losing my sexual attraction towards him. He does the same and wrong things repeatedly, when I ask him not to. He says he forgets, etc.

This is obviously very frustrating. Is there anything we can do for help? We don't want him on medicine, as it turns him into a zombie and he loses all signs of his innocent charm and personality. What can we do? Help!!

Hmmm

Hi, oh dear this is a tricky situation isnt it? Is there any ADD/ADHD website you can visit to read up on this? Maybe talking to a qualified person can help and give you ideas on how to go about this. I know it can be frustrating. Maybe do something, like "prep" yourself a bit before initiating anything, that way you are half way "there" and just need that bit more to hit home. Anyway, good luck!