Scared of sex?

Hi, i really dont know where to start.....im 19 and ive never done anything with a lad, ive always been scared too and i push them away when i think were at the point of doing physical stuff except kissing. Basically when i was younger, like 5 years old, my older cousin use to climb on top of me and move as if we were having sex and he would just get his willy out all the time and lay on top of me. then when i was 12 i was in his room, and i looked up and he had his willy hanging out the leg of his shorts, and he had locked his door, but when he heard me shakey voice ask him to let me out he did and i never went back in, nothing else has happened since then, but whenever my mates talk about sex i always feel really uncomfortable and think of people having sex and bj's and stuf as wrong. sometimes i do wnt sex but im jsut way to scared, im really self concious of my private bits aswell as my inner lips hang down an bit and i dont think any lad will liek it. please help me im going insane trying to beat this fear of sex. i dont even like being alone with a lad even if hes my boyfriend at that time. help!

Kelly x

Youre not alone

Hi Kelly,

I'm Zoe, I'm 20 and i'm still a VIRGIN!!!
I'm just too scared!!!
I can't really talk to any of my friends because they think i've ive done it already!
I'm worried if i never sop being scared of sex i will never fall in love and i might be the next 40 year old virgin!
I've allready lost my boyfriend because of that.W e were friends for over 3 YEARS. It just came out of nowhere! I was at his place, we were doing homework together when he suddenly pushes me into his bed and says don't worry, "I've got condoms!" I wonder how guys think!!!
I told him i wasn't ready and he asked me if i was if i was a virgin and when i said yes he looked at me as if i had just grown another head!!!1 Then the next day he DUMPS ME!!!
I've been scared to fall in love ever since.

You can get over this

Hi Kelly

I'm sorry to read of your bad experiences so early on in your life. These encounters can shape the way we view things and how we react to other people as it appears to have done in your case.

I think before you even consider getting intimate with the opposite sex you would benefit from talking your thoughts and feelings through with a professional councillor.

You can be referred by your doctor, some even have councillors working within the practice. Until you confront your anxiety and fears you cannot move on to having a health sexual relationship with someone.

I hope this helps.

Suze X

Understadable

Well, it's understandable as to why you're scared. But you have to remember as to why you're having sex and who it's with. Isn ... because you love that person? Is that person not the person you want to spend your life with?
Sex isn't everything (I'm still a virgin at 18, and I'm still livin), so you should take it slowly with your partner. He should understand that you wish to take it slow and you need to work alongside him when you do feel ready; if you feel ready, even if it's just a small feel up, try not to hesitate, and take it step by step. You'll be ok with it sooner or later after a bit of work on it
Hope that helped }
If not, sorry
x

Newbie

Hi guys..I'm a newbie.. By the way You should not have to be afraid to have sex because you will experience that if you get married.