Lovely relationship, bad sex.

Basically there are quite a few problems;
* The relationship is perfect minus the sex
* I'm inexperienced
* He finishes when he finishes
* I have never reached orgasm or even got pleasure from the sex
* I can orgasm perfectly fine on my own
* It makes me not want to have sex with him

I'm just so worried that this otherwise perfect relationship is going to end. He wants a long term relationship and so do I... but he's the only guy I've been with and I don't want to pass up the next few years of my life for a relationship where he's getting all the fun and I'm just fulfilling his needs. I know it sounds really selfish and there's more to a relationship... but it makes me really upset at the concept that I've left it so long to lose my virginity and now I'm not going to have a good opportunity to explore it and enjoy it. I don't want to be looking around for someone who can actually fulfill my needs to because he's a lovely guy and he doesn't deserve it, but I don't want to be put off sex either. What do I do or say? Is there much likelihood of him improving if I do talk to him about it? Any one else had this problem?

Hi

Hi,

I totally agree with Morgan - if you want this relationship to work, you really need to speak to him about it. He needs to realise, if he doesn't already, how you feel. He does sound like a bit like a selfish lover, but maybe he doesn't realise? Maybe he's less experienced than you think, or than he lets on and so he doesn't realise? If that's the case, then you need to experiment together, try new things - that's the best bit

RE the likelihood of him changing - well it just depends what kind of person he is. Surely to goodness he would feel bad at the thought of the woman he loves not wanting to have sex with him though?

Good luck.

Communication

Tell him what you have told us. Have a lazy day - plan a late breakfast - enjoy no sex until after you have told him the above. You will be amazed he would probably like to know, If he cannot control what he does then he must learn how you like to reach orgasm manually, a s you do for yourself. Speak up, tell him, it will also be good for you to reveal your views.

Either way do not worry about it - move on!!!!!!!!!!