Some of you may think I'm taking th p*ss & it's not what you want to hear but I'm gonna try this anyway......I'm gonna try to cheer us up & I want your help.

We seem to be having a hard time of it at the minute so I think we all need to take a breather to cry - but this time with laughter.

If you would be so kind as to add your own little bit of cheeriness to make someone smile, whether it be a quote, a poem or a good old dirty joke...jot it down & give us all a laugh......

Smiling is infectious; you catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin,
When he smiled I realised I'd passed it on to him.
I thought about that smile & realised its worth,
A single smile, just like mine, could travel round the earth.
So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected,
Let's start an epidemic quick, & get the world infected.

Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.


Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was the man goes on top and the woman underneath. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and you get rid of him all weekend.

What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.

'Do you know, my mother-in-law has vanished, just disappeared from home. Just like that.'
'Have you given her description to the police?'
'No, they'd never believe me.'

Why does a man have his best ideas during sex ????

Cos he's plugged into a f**king GENIUS !!!!!!

I've got nothing funny or cheery to write. I'm pretty boring actually, lol. But I'll try.
(sorry tmi - or whatever the short thingy is, lol)
Last night I had a drem. We were making love with my dh. It was soo real and hot and sexi. When I started doing things to him that I never do (and he wants me to soo much) I woke up on dh's saying *do you know what's the time*. When I told him, he sayd *dam it!!!! I wish I waited a bit to see if you really did it and what you thougt about it. Maby you would like it and would make it regullar*. We had a good laugh.
That's what I call a propper dream ladies. dh will have to sleep on sofa from now on not to disturb. lol lol

I hate getting woken up from those dreams too LOL.

A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth. The doctor told them that they'd developed a new machine and asked if the couple would like to try it out. The machine could take some of the pain of childbirth from the mother and give it to the father to ease the mother's burden.
Well, they thought that was a good idea, and decided to give it a try. The doctor initially set the machine on 10 percent, telling the man that even 10 percent was probably more pain than he'd ever experienced. But the husband was surprised at how little pain he was feeling, and asked the doctor to raise the level.
The doctor increased it to 20 percent, and when the man still felt fine, he raised it to 50 and finally 100 percent.
After it was all over, the man stood up, and stretched a little. Both he and his wife felt fine, and they shortly left the hospital to take the baby home.
It was then that they found the mailman dead on their doorstep.





A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"
The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."
"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.
"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."
"Like this?"
"A little more..."
"Like this?"
"No. A little more..."
"Like this?"
"Yes. Does that hurt?"
"A little bit."
"Now stretch it over your head!"

lol lol lol lol lol made my day, hope it will yours too!!